I'm Petting My Dog

Specifically when a male masturbates or strokes his erect genitalia and would like someone to know it. Used mainly for describing to a significant other over phone calls or public that you are/have masturbating. The reason you would use this term and not just outright say it would be due to things like: They're parents are in the room, you're in a public place, they have you on phone speaker, etc.

"Hey,"
"Hey!"
"Am I on speaker?"
"Yeah, why?"
"Oh I'm just calling to let you know I'm petting my dog.."
"Oh..."
*Takes off speaker*

by HipstaSquirrel September 6, 2016

My dog stepped on a bee

A joke about when "Amber Heard" said this during court

I'm not feeling good my dog stepped on a bee.

by Just a human_6 February 23, 2023

Hot dog with a side of ketchup

When a female suffering from malaria is bleeding out of her anal cavity and two male partners attempt to cure the disease with sessions of booty eating and anal penetration for hours on end.

Person1: Hey did you hear Julia has malaria?
Person2: Yeah Niko and Johnny are going to give her a hot dog with a side of ketchup to try and help her.
Person1: word

by Madmak6171 July 3, 2015

human piece of dog shit

Someone who's hobby is metal detecting

Brian thibeault is a human piece of dog shit, all he does is live at his moms house and walking masturbation.

by Dogs anal April 22, 2016

Fernando's Ugly Ass Dog

literally the UGLIEST DAMN DOG EVER, so gross it makes me want to throw up.

Guy 1: "Hey, have you seen Fernando's Ugly Ass Dog?!"

Guy 2: *Violently combusts from disgust and pain from remembrance of that disgusting dog.

by zenkurai November 17, 2021

Your dog hump cat

Better than "your mom gay, your dad lesbian, and your granny tranny"

Carl: Your granny tranny
Joe: Your dog hump cat
Carl: *Dies*

by Zombie620Slayer March 15, 2018

Cat Dog x Dylan

The cutest fucking couple of cats it doesn't matter if Dylans twice her age and on the verge of death. Cat Dog needs a sugar daddy anyways.

Omg have you heard Cat Dog x Dylan is officially canon!?! They're so fucking cute.

by slutowner June 15, 2021