I'm Petting My Dog

Specifically when a male masturbates or strokes his erect genitalia and would like someone to know it. Used mainly for describing to a significant other over phone calls or public that you are/have masturbating. The reason you would use this term and not just outright say it would be due to things like: They're parents are in the room, you're in a public place, they have you on phone speaker, etc.
"Hey," "Hey!" "Am I on speaker?" "Yeah, why?" "Oh I'm just calling to let you know I'm petting my dog.." "Oh..." *Takes off speaker*
by HipstaSquirrel February 20, 2016
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That's How I feed my Eel.

A simple justification to why you do something odd or random.
"Roman, why do you like snapping your neighbors' necks?" "Well, Brittney, That's How I feed my Eel."
by HipstaSquirrel June 15, 2016
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Rules 1-36

Rules 1-36 should be the only excepted rules of the internet, as rules 37+ start to devolve into mindless, unfunny, repeated, and contradictory bullshit.
Lol rule 37 am i rite? No, only Rules 1-36 are 'rite' yah wee cunt
by HipstaSquirrel November 01, 2016
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