A fat Costa Rican bastard who got a shitty ass haircut and hates a lovely boy named Bryan. Nigga Jared thinks he’s rich ($14 an hour makes fat niggas go crazy) he lies about everything except that he has so many hoes. Nigga thinks he’s a thug cause he live in a shitty ass apartment. The biggest city boy s(as in fat asf but he still a city boy) got pepperoni nipples, SpongeBob acne and is a big fan of chaka culture and claims the chaka set. And he is thankful for god given opportunity’s Jared is a good homie and faithful vato and
Margret: Jared is fine ask
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes
Hannah: I’d let him nut inside of me
Margret:…
The hoes: I’d like Jared to fill my holes
by Chester2fine March 10, 2023

Jared on the Chaired is a magical elf who only sits on chairs & is much more critical on reports to santa than typical elves. Jared also explodes on christmas and shows back up again the next year.
by notoeduw December 21, 2024

by PP Monger321 June 8, 2019

Typically white male, probably plays golf or tennis, and follows the outfit formula: T-shirt, shorts, Nike socks with white vans. A “Jared” is most likely an asshole who treats women like shit and says “oh shit my bad”
by Solocupgirl December 9, 2019

by crimsoku September 24, 2021

Jared's Ears is a condition in which your ears are abnormally large. Most would say that they are ticklish because of how big they are. There is no cure for this but one can live with the struggles of Jared's Ears by parting ways with the negatives of its impact.
by Christophlak May 28, 2024

A true fuck boy. Normally has a very big head, and a very petite penis. Not to be mistaken for "Jared" Jared VanVleet is a complete douchebag. Also very bad in bed.
by Dictionarywebster June 23, 2016
