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Ascension School

Ascension School is a private school in Oak Park that was established by the Ursuline Sisters in 1912. Its great place to ruin your child’s life. The uniforms would look more flattering on Steve Buscemi then on literally anyone there. They have gym twice a week with the actual corpse of George Washington. That school has gone through more spanish teachers than Taylor Swift has boyfriends. Only decent person who works there is the janitor. The hot lunches went “healthy” which I’m sure is code for containing human flesh. Half the staff wears open toe shoes so the children suffer through horrible education while starting at hairy toes. There are more health codes broken here then in a Mcdonald’s. The students are treated worse than the employers at the hooters on undercover boss. The only decent thing learned is how to roll joints taught by a kid that smoked actual oregano. You might accidently watch a religious movie where a girl is in an abusive relationship so she cheats on him to make him mad him then gets gang raped then runs away and almost dies but Jesus revives her then a queen helps her and has a lesbian make out sesh because a class actually watched this. Wouldn’t be surprised to see a rat in the gym smoking a joint, drinking, and shooting up some heroine all at once. The dances are jokes unless you get blessed by the occasional drunk teacher showing up to twerk on you.
“I’d rather give Hitler a bjthan attend Ascension School”
“But dude you’re Jewish
“Your point?”
by Justice F. Harambe October 18, 2016
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Cresskill High School

Basically the backup school for Asians and Jews if they don't make it to BCA. The architects of this school were probably drunk cause the building's one bigass floor. The high school is well known for the bathroom party couple years back.
A: Did u make it to BCA??
B: No, still stuck in Cresskill High School
A: Ur parents must be pissed at u...
B: They abandoned me
by cress kill me October 20, 2017
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Paul V Moore High School

a shitty ass school that is full of self conceited cunts and hill bill faggots who think they can fight. half of the girls are thots and the guys are scum bags who only care about getting their dick wet.
Oh Jason, yeah he goes to Paul V Moore High School.
by Barbaramarly January 29, 2018
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Stratford School Academy

Stratford school academy not only is a shitty school in terms of teaching but also is filled with snakes hoes and boys who think they’re prestige. No one likes anyone but they all act like they’re in la la land. Everyone including me thinks they’re the fucking shit. If you’re white, gay, bi etc don’t even fucking bother considering coming here because you will NOT be tolerated. We love black. Even to the point to where your shoes coat blazer and even hair accessories have to be black. Or expect Mr Seager or Mr Pratt to track you down and fuck you up. The teachers are clapped. The students are of another species. 100% would recommend
Oh look it’s Stratford School Academy!
by hoehoehoes December 25, 2018
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colonial forge high school

The school that is known for drugs, unloyal girls, gun violence, where the student fucked the teacher, and white boys that wear pastel colored shirts.
Yo, Colonial Forge High School is the worst high school in Stafford County!
by stressedouthsstudent May 21, 2017
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kent meridian high school

a VERY ghetto school, full of fake gang bangers, bitches who got a bigger body count than their gpa, and a bunch of students with stds
“bitch i think i got herpes”

“really? i think im pregnant
“who’d you fuck
“naw who’d you fuck”

*both*
“someone from kent meridian high school
by smhwannabenarcs September 19, 2018
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Schaumburg High School

A school that will make you want to slam your fucking face into a brick wall, so you will be able to comprehend the autism that comes out of the teachers mouths. And if you dont do it yourself, than there are enough fights to the point that someone will do it for you.
I wish that Schaumburg High School would burn down in the California fires, but it is in Illinois.
by I say it so you dont have to November 30, 2018
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