Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.

After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.

by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020

Texas Wet Wipe

Using one’s own sock or socks to wash and wipe the asshole after dropping a horrifically mud butt style shit or accidentally shitting oneself and there is no toilet paper or other tissue.

A Texas wet wipe is used out of absolute necessity and desperation.

The sock or socks are removed and are made thoroughly wet and moist in the sink (if available) and the ass is cleansed accordingly. The socks must always be disposed of or better yet, just left behind on the floor. Never flushed.

After spending the entire day drinking beer and eating hot wings, I headed home. After about a mile, I felt the gut bubblies. Hoping to release some pressure, I unloaded what I thought was a massive fart but ended up shitting my pants. I spotted a gas station on the corner and quickly headed to the shitter. I waddled to the door praying the steamy, oozing, wet lump would not slide any further down my leg. I made it to the stall only to find there was no toilet paper or paper towels. I slipped off both socks knowing a Texas wet wipe was my only alternative. I moistened them in the sink and then I slid the cold, wet socks up and down my ass crack like dental floss cleaning what had to look like the field at a tractor pull and a rooster’s tail when it came out. I got it as clean as I could get it and at least enough to not itch too much before I got home, I tossed my socks in the corner and slipped my boots back on and headed on my way.

by Dick Onchin November 3, 2020

Texas Place Mat

Using your girl’s panties as a wet spot barrier between her ass and your expensive bed sheets.

The panties are removed in anticipation of oral sex or coitus then spread smoothly under her ass like a place mat to catch her wetness, squirt and eventually your busted nut that leaks down the taint.

Thanks to the Texas place mat, I was able to have a nice dry post nut nap.

by Dick Onchin December 2, 2020

texas hype house

Here single women reside for a year of "hard work", blood, sweat, and tears. If you're lucky, you may stumble upon a sudden engagement to a nice yeshiva bochur. The Hype House usually isn't very hype, unless it's followed by a night of Shabbos meal drinking. The Hype House boasts a treif kitchen (not done intentionally), but make sure you kashur the dishes before! We are in prime location of the local school, so close in fact that dismissal can be heard from inside the house. We are fortunate to have the most amazing neighbor, Joe V's which is probably the most sketchy store a frum girl will find herself in (if you didn't catch corona yet, you will probably catch it inside Joe V's). We call the Hype House home and while it surprises us each day, we value the time spent in all its glory.

Intern 1: "Have you been inside the Texas Hype House yet?"
Intern 2: "OMG yeah! It's so..... hype?"

by internlyfe January 25, 2021

Texassbackwards

This is an Ass Backwards place where newly created laws are from more than a half century ago. In this place, some people are living more than a half century behind in time.

In the year 2021, in Texassbackwards it's illegal to get an abortion after 6 weeks of pregnancy. This place is so Ass Backwards in our current time, as women in every other first world nation democracy have the right to choose everything for their own bodies. Texassbackwards is a place where living laws are more than a half century behind in time! Perhaps they don't know it's 2021?

by suzgirl September 12, 2021

texas slang

Slang originating from the lone star state of Texas such as purple drank, swangin, and screwed up

Dat Boi watta knows all bout that texas slang

by Watta boi June 24, 2022

texas 8&4

The pinnacle of success for collegiate football in College Station, Texas. A prerequisite for annual participation in the Belk, Liberty, Music City, Texas, and Gator Bowls.

We pride ourselves in being a mediocre football program. In an effort to uphold our tradition, we are going to pay a guy named "Jimbo" a small fortune to rebrand us as Texas 8&4.

by OhioStateStillSucks August 30, 2022