SMAP (Senior Management Action Plan)

Senior Management Action Plan is a path for lateral hires to be inducted in senior positions in a company. This includes exposure to all verticals within stipulated time frame:
a) Customer Care -15 days
b) Finance -5 days
c) Human Resource -10 days
d) Sales and Marketing -20 days
e) Product Development -30 days
f) Business Strategy -30 days
g) Board Meetings -5 days
h) Programming -15 days
i) Customer Satisfaction Survey -10 days
j) Creativity -30 days
The intern is business ready within seven months.
After this the lateral hire is associated with a small team to develop, launch and market a small product all by himself or herself.

In Kalkie Integrated Solutions -the female leaders were inducted by short-term SMAP (Senior Management Action Plan)-thanks to Alphabet Inc

by Vishnu Ganrau Kartik October 20, 2016

dog in a manger

And lo a dog wanteth not the hay, but stoppeth the oxen eating nonetheless.

He's a dog in a manger.

by CtPf on hols June 26, 2017

social knowledge management

A community where knowledge is shared, rated and redistributed ongoing.

A two-way wiki is one example of social knowledge management or a shared social space such as a social network or VR social space where information can be recorded and shared.

by Lisa K Padilla May 24, 2018

The mushroom theory of management

An old, time-honored management technique in large corporations.

1. Keep your employees in the dark.
2. Feed them shit.
3. When they grow up, cut them off at the roots.

The CEO of XYZ Corp is a big believer in the mushroom theory of management.

by Hot Licks July 21, 2020

MCPrison's Management

The definition of bad management where the managers are full of simps, can't take advice, and fulfills every definition of bad management.

Player: Do you think Arkham has bad management?

Another player: Compared to MCPrison's Management, it more than fine.

by SuckItCree January 29, 2021

bandage and manage

when referring to s/h inflicting wounds on yourself and covering them up

bandage and manage lol

by stumvi March 7, 2021

Polysterene Brown Management Theory

This theory covers the principle that you have some people who are incompetent but get promoted anyway due to arrogance, self-belief and ignorance of their own capabilities and limitations. Their self-belief comes across as confidence and skill during short interview exposure where real skills are not challenged or tested thoroughly. Ultimately they become a manager. They try to exert control over all future situations, despite a lack of informed knowledge.

These employees float up to the top of an organisation, repeating the same process. and this is why there is a layer of shit often floating at the top, underneath which capable employees become exhausted and disgruntled.

This in essence is the Polystyrene Brown Management Theory.

It gains its name from some simple principles. If placed in water, Polestyrene will float to the top, pushing everything out of its way to get there, where it refuses to sink, is bad for the environment and is generally just shit. Inhibiting the necessary light needed for employee growth underneath where they are left in a less oxygen-rich environment, unable to get the necessary straws to aid breathing, due to the budget cuts imposed by said Polystyrene Brown Management.

The environment that the employee is left to work in starts to turn brown, and everywhere they look they feel they are surrounded by shit.

Polysterene Brown Management Theory

"I have been working in this company for 23 years, and we don't need to change or adapt to any of these dumbfounding IT security principles or ideas you have, if you don't like it then leave!!!!" - said David.

"Well David, that's some "Polysternene Brown Management Theory" bullshit right there you useless bag of limp dicks" - replied Kevin.

by irishwolfdogg June 25, 2021