Bed Bug

The scourge of the Earth as far as insects go. The closest thing to a living hell short of a chronic condition or painful disease. A small itchy insect that will cause you to lose sleep to the point where you will verge on the brink of insanity, but after you live with them for a few years you will slowly real yourself back in. Has a strong negative effect on quality of life as a whole, as your work performance will suffer, visitors will find out and never come back or you stop inviting them in the first place (social isolation) and you give up hope for the future as you've gotten rid of almost all your furniture and had your home fumigated several times, but yet, they're still there. If you are allergic (not everyone is) you will NEVER be presentable in public, as you will have red welts on most of the places on your body, such as the back of your arms, the love handle area, around your knees and lower thighs, etc. While sitting idle in your own home, you will rarely ever go two full minutes without itching ever again unless you're moving and active. Without taking some measures to keep their numbers down, you will eventually find that they are traveling in the clothes you're wearing while in public. You'll be checking out some international calling cards at your local Dollar General and look down and see a rust colored bug crawling across your chest. You'll learn to hate them so bad you smoosh them between your fingers whenever you see one.

If I don't get rid of these bed bugs, I may just torch my house and all my possessions and start anew.

by Sifting Through July 23, 2017

Bed excuse

An excuse, (usually a bad excuse) that people use when they cancel on something but actually just want to sleep together.

Ah my boyfriend is tired and wants to go home.
Ah thats just a Bed excuse!

I am so tired tonight... i cant come to the party...sorry
ah, yea your boyfriend said the same... thats a bed excuse girl!

by MakgeoliDaan September 26, 2011

Bed Yam

A person who sits in bed and watches television or plays on the computer too much.

George would rather sit in bed and watch movies ( be a Bed Yam) than go out with his friends.

by sally44567 January 1, 2012

Bed-meat

The state of being so tired that your brain ceases to function and you become a lump of flesh.

I am so exhausted tonight, I'm just going to be bed-meat.

by FoodieK July 7, 2022

bed count

Something douchebags claim exist even though it doesn't.

1:I want to fuck that girl.
2:No. her bed count is too high.
1:Go fuck yourself.

by Joe The Autistic March 13, 2016

Whore Bed

When a mattress is left unmade without sheets and the owner still sleeps in it.

Is that a whore bed in her picture? Bitch needs some sheets.

by yumbigbabe November 4, 2018

bed chocolate

A suspicious brown object that you discover upon your pillow when waking in the morning. How did it get there? No one will ever know. Not safe for consumption.

Hobo Jemima: That couldn't have been chocolate.
Hobo Cletus: Why not?
Hobo Jemima: It was too stanky.
Hobo Cletus: You're right... it must have been bed chocolate! Wait, I don't even have a bed!

by fuzzydickwumpkins January 11, 2012