the fän paradox 

if something hates everything, that means they hate hating everything, but then that also means they hate hating everything, and that continues on endlessly, so, do they really hate everything?

PERSON UNO: I HATE EVERYTHING
PERSON DOS: jesus christ calm down ur gonna start the fän paradox and cause a fucking resonance cascade

the fän paradox by deliriousidiot February 12, 2024

The Longy Paradox

In a trade situation, when coming into a problem on a work site the requires a photo of an area, the moment that the problem is acknowledged the photo destroys itself and any evidence that it ever existed ceases to exist.

“Can you find a photo of the piezo? I can’t find it.”
“Nah there’s not photo”
“Fucking Longy”
“It’s the Longy Paradox mate”

The Longy Paradox by Living Benefit Card February 24, 2024

The Walmart Paradox 

Walmart paradox refers to the futile locking of common household items to reduce theft but then not hiring enough staff to allow people to buy the items stuck in the case incurring loss of sales

Synonyms dilemma, quagmire

The Walmart paradox is a stupid solution causing the same problem

The Walmart Paradox by Reefermechanic420 March 1, 2024

Pisser's paradox 

The paradox of dog territory ownership during and after it rains. Rain washes away or spreads out the scent of piss, so it has to be replaced eventually, but as there is no longer any record of the pisser's claim, does it truly have the right to claim it again? This thought experiment was first proposed by Robert Hund in 1933 because he probably ran out of things to do in his tiny Hooverville cabin and had to start tracking the territory of neighborhood dogs during his waking hours. He's also proposed the swallowing tree paradox, the ripened banana and blue pen ink paradox, and to his wife, Melanie. She once gave her grandson $1 to "buy himself something nice" with, back when that meant something.

"Urban Dictionary prompted me to use my nonsense pisser's paradox in a sentence, clearly displaying the fact that it hasn't noticed that it's users have begun using it as a way to also learn phrases and concepts."

Pisser's paradox by TheGreatestLad March 1, 2024

the Johnson Paradox 

The Johnson Paradox is a phenomenon where a group of people love and support an individual, despite that individual lying repeatedly and showing the utmost corruption and hypocrisy in their daily life.

The individual might also be completely in contempt of their supporters and morally destitute, but the supporters cannot see the individual for what they are and support them regardless.

Reasonable Person 1: "So he lied to everyone and was forced out of office by his own party, yet when he returned yesterday, he was met with thunderous applause?"
Reasonable Person 2: "It's the Johnson Paradox in effect."

the Johnson Paradox by HypocrisySanctimony July 3, 2024

The Simon Wilson Paradox 

After hearing a detailed and troubling story about another man's struggles with maintaining an erection, he couldn't shake the anxiety it induced. This newfound stress crept into his own intimate moments, creating a vicious cycle of worry and performance issues that left him unable to maintain an erection himself.
Thus creating the Simon Wilson paradox

Last night I was with this girl then I stuffed from the Simon Wilson Paradox.

The Simon Wilson Paradox by Scottith July 15, 2024

The Fermi Paradox got them 

A phrase used to describe when someone you know ghosts you or disappears from your life.

It can also be used when someone stops talking to you mid-conversation and vanishes for long periods of time without an explanation given to you before or after.

The joke is that they were met with an extinction event that they couldn't survive through and now do not exist.

Thespy: Shit, where the fuck did Nick go?
Caribou: I have no idea, The Fermi Paradox got them.
Thespy: The extinction event is real.

The Fermi Paradox got them by InfinitelyTheWorst August 21, 2024