chat monkey

A person that logs into an online game for the sole purpose of chatting.

Man, I never see that guy doing any thing here but chat in trade. He is a real chat monkey!

by chiphead.net March 29, 2009

Funky Monker

Derived from the phrase or name "Funky Monkey". It is described as a person who expresses one's self in a funky and comical way, making no sense in their actions or words. One who is comically spontaneous resulting in no logical or mature explanation of their actions or outbursts. A person who sees themselves as funny, while others see them as odd or weird. One who does or says things, to entertain one's self at the disposal of others, such as telling jokes that make no sense, just to see the expressions on other's faces, and watching reactions from others.

Joe: "Hey man, did you see that? I just wiped my mind with a burger wrapper!"

Sam: "Dude....what's that suppose to mean?"

Joe: "Totally dude....I agree!"

Sam: "Bro...you are one crazy funky monker!"

by 2crazy2tell April 17, 2009

Night Monkey

When you and your friends hide in a tree and jump down when people walk beneath you, scaring the crap out of them

Dude, remember that one time we were playing night monkey and I got chased?

Oh dude that was so funny!

by Nicky J! April 23, 2009

Taser Monkey

A police officer, especially one who reflexively uses his or her Taser in situations in which a real cop would rely on his or her wits and communication skills.

Peace Loving Citizen: Excuse me, officer, might you have the time?

Taser Monkey (later, to Grand Jury): The perpetrator approached me and presented a reasonable request in a peaceable manner. I had no choice but to tase him. And tasers are "non-lethal" so it's obvious he died on purpose just to frame me.

Grand Jury: But your victim was a 90-year-old man with a heart condition in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank... asking for the time. And you killed him.

Taser Monkey: Exactly. He could have been a terrorist with a wheelchair bomb, plotting to kill me and everyone else in the area. A lesser cop might have answered with the time and we could all be dead right now!

Grand Jury: Oh right! What were we thinking? Of course we'll side with you no matter what. Fuck the citizens!

by taserbrain February 12, 2010

PAPER MONKEY

Someone who has a desk job doing paperwork.

Boss: Kathryn what are you doing?

Kathryn: I'za doin my werk like a good Paper Monkey!

Guy on a first date: So what do you do for a living?

Girl: I work at a car dealership, processing loan applications.

Guy: Ohh! Your a Paper Monkey!

by RedRibbonSword October 19, 2010

Cradle Monkey

Cradling your significant other's hefty ball sacks in the cup of your hand, taking pressure off the penal area known as the perineum.

Hey dude?
YEah man...
Your balls look tired
Yeah i had a rough day
Weellllllll i mean ill cradle monkey them for a little bit so they can relieve circulation.....i mean if thats okay..
.........ummmm sure.....is that gay?
No man not at all........let me do it

by HPFBanana Hammock March 31, 2011

Gush monkey

A person who is extremely gushy in the emotional sense.

Dawn: You are the best guy ever. I can't believe we are in this relationship. I've always wanted someone like you in my life.

Bob: I didn't know you were this much of a gush monkey. :p. It's cute.

by gushmonkey May 10, 2011