Crystal Spring Turtle

Giving somebody a crystal spring turtle is a sexual act. It involves one parter "prairie dogging" a piece of feces in and out of their rectum, while the other either urinates or ejaculates on the half protruding feces. The partner then pulls the feces back in, like a turtle retreating into its shell.

Guy #1: Hey bro i heard you gave Sally a crystal spring turtle last night

Guy#2: Hell yea man! I crystal spring'd all over that turtle!! Jealous??

Guy#1: Uuuhh...not really

Crystal Spring Turtle by Badassboyscout May 13, 2009

Nuclear Turtle 

When your bowel movement results in a mushroom cloud of stench arising in the immediate vicinity. Then you observe below you in the toilet bowl the illegitimate spawn of some sort of amphibians from the bikini atoll test site. Most of the time a nuclear turtle is of a green color in some or all of its outer coating, although a black and brown variety has been reported.

My sh*t just hit critical mass, nuclear turtle imminent!

Nuclear Turtle by TurtleBomber October 1, 2010

turtle's head

The first part of a turd that will poke itself out for air, when yo' ass is fit to bust.

'When the turtle's head pops out, you're on borrowed time...'

turtle's head by ant July 26, 2004

Turtle Sex 

When a guy talks up his game, claiming he can hit it hard and fast, but when it comes down to it, fucks no better than a turtle.

Friend 1: "Hey! How was last night?"
Friend 2: "It was absolutely awful! He kept telling me how hard he wanted to fuck me, but then he was like a turtle, moving so slow! There's no other way to explain it besides Turtle Sex."

Turtle Sex by snowspy May 8, 2011

Turtle time

To have a good sexual time

Hey baby, be ready tonight, it’s turtle time.

Turtle time by Childofthedarklord January 5, 2019

magic turtle 

The last section of a bowel movement that refuses to pass, instead coming to rest just inside the anus.

While not uncomfortable, the wiping process is greatly impacted. Unknown to the sitter their ass is clean, however, each wipe creates creates a slight relaxing of the sphincter which leads to light contact between paper and turd, making it appear that there is some mysterious and unexplainable trickery going on.

Jill: Who blocked the toilet with all this paper?
Ben: Sorry, I had a magic turtle.

magic turtle by Joshua James December 10, 2006

Turtle Waxing 

To feel a girls chest, outside of the shirt, replicating the motion of hand washing or waxing a car.

I saw my friend and his girl at the movies last night, and he was totally turtle waxing.

Turtle Waxing by Chimpski November 3, 2009