toilet locked

the moment in between taking a shit and wiping, when you're completely unable to do anything besides sit there helplessly

Nick: "I was about to go on a date with this girl but I had the sudden urge to take a shit the last minute and I was toilet locked for like 45 minutes"
George: "Wow, that is so not poggers"

by Achilleas Sym December 21, 2020

Toilet Facelift

A facial expression exhibited as a result of a loathsome, hideous or unwelcome experience.

After Duncan's ceaseless barbs over her advancing years, Wendy returned to the table sporting an irritable disposition and a toilet facelift.

by darchingHard July 2, 2019

Toilet Math

When flushed pages of a photocopied raw manuscript that an unscrupulous math publisher had illegally obtained from a competitor’s editor or agent were found clogging the toilet.

On a surprise visit to Winning Math Publishing, the FBI found proof of toilet math taking place upon their arrival to their premises.

by Fasters February 14, 2022

Crusty toilet

The rim around a womans vigina that has scabes all over and is constantly wet.

When she pulled down her pantis there was a crusty toilet!

by Dick Biscet November 6, 2010

toilet idea

Seemingly profound and often introspective thoughts that cross a man's mind while he sits on the commode and ponders things.

Einstein's theories of general and special relativity are toilet ideas. He was taking a heavy dump when he realized space is like toilet water...

by Preteranimus July 15, 2010

Toilet Taliban

One who runs into a bathroom and loudly Defecates.

You are only a toilet Taliban if you rush into the toilet, and your poop is audibly loud.

Subject one has just dined at Taco Bell. His bowels are furious and he rushes to the restroom. Opon arrival the remnants of two enchiritos and a soft drink burst forth from his rectum with a retort that was heard throughout the restaraunt. The FBI reported him as a toilet Taliban.

by Alexiosassypants September 14, 2015

toilet table

The worst table in a restaurant, usually next to the toilet door.

"I can't believe we booked my birthday dinner six months ahead and still got given the toilet table!"

by THETOILETTABLE July 11, 2016