5 definitions by Alexiosassypants
Someone who after taking a dump; wipes so meticulously that no trace of the event remains. Ass perfectionists are notorious for using exessive amounts of toilet paper, baby wipes, and generally taking forever, much to the dismay of anyone waiting in line.
"God damn! How long is he going to take!?"
"Don't hold your breath, he's an Ass perfectionist after all."
"Don't hold your breath, he's an Ass perfectionist after all."
by Alexiosassypants August 17, 2016
A most swag unit of measurement used by gangstas and pimps of a classier variety. Unlike its uncultured counterpart metric buttloads shitloads and fucktons are all base ten and as such far easyer to use in calculations.
On yesterday's evening I consumed a metric buttload of fine liquor. Unfortunately When I arose from my inebriated slumber, I found myself ducktaped to the underside of a freeway wearing nothing but my proud Union Jack skivvies.
by Alexiosassypants February 18, 2016
A state of emotional pain and embarrassment many magnitudes above roasted. A true crisping is a rare sight indeed, and the recipient of the crisp will no doubt crumble beneath its weight and immediately abandon whatever medium was used to deliver the crisp.
by Alexiosassypants November 30, 2016
One who runs into a bathroom and loudly Defecates.
You are only a toilet Taliban if you rush into the toilet, and your poop is audibly loud.
You are only a toilet Taliban if you rush into the toilet, and your poop is audibly loud.
Subject one has just dined at Taco Bell. His bowels are furious and he rushes to the restroom. Opon arrival the remnants of two enchiritos and a soft drink burst forth from his rectum with a retort that was heard throughout the restaraunt. The FBI reported him as a toilet Taliban.
by Alexiosassypants August 10, 2015
Wordplay of feels and limbo, the state of mind that occurs 3-4 hours after one is subjected to intense emotional feels
Dude, yesterday I watched this super sad story on tha tubes and then that night I was so deep in fimbo I had to cry myself to sleep
by Alexiosassypants April 29, 2014