murphy's law

Anything bad that could happen, will happen. Frequently quoted by those who think the entire world is against them, just because their piece of toast never lands the right way up. Same people often use the phrase 'That's just fucking typical' (of the world and everyone's in its conspiracy to piss me right off).

by Eldritch September 4, 2003

Murphy's Balls

A play on "Murphy's Law," just with genitals. When you shave your downstairs area because you think "tonight's finally the big night," it almost 100% guarantees you will not get laid.

"So , date three--did you and Mary Todd finally do the deed last night?"
"Nah man, I got all psyched and shaved before we went out and jynxed myself."
"Ah man, Murphy's Balls in effect."

by Pejamus May 28, 2018

Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk

"You can keep purchasing small costlier-per-piece packages of a product till Doomsday, and you will always continue needing a sizable amount/quantity of it per week/month/year. But then just as soon as you plunk down a tidy sum for an economy-priced bulk-quantity of said commodity, your needs and/or lifestyle will immediately change, and so now you will likely never even begin to consume that much volume in your entire lifetime."

For example, you purchase several cases of plain white paraffin candles for your antique chandelier that you love to illuminate every evening, only to then discover that an electric-candle "upgrade" kit is available, and comes with fixtures that look just like the elegant candles and fit perfectly into your chandelier's holders! So now you're stuck with many hundreds of little white-wax tapers that you'll probably never have any use for.

I feel like such a total bulk-buying buffoon --- I had been consuming several expensive plywood-cutting circular-saw blades per year in my household woodworking-tasks, and so eventually I had purchased a bargain-priced fifty-pack of only-minutely-rusty "new old stock" Skilsaw-blades from a private seller on E-Bay. But then I had started using a larger-bladed table-saw for most of my panel-slicing/trimming needs, and so I've only used one or two of the circular-saw blades from the package in the many months since that time! Sounds like a classic case of "Murphy's Law Of Buying In Bulk" to me!!!

by QuacksO August 8, 2018

murphy

To blackmail someone using privately shared materials

My boss tried to murphy me into resigning

by techywiz November 30, 2020

Saw Murphy

Encounter Murphy's law (Whatever can go wrong will go wrong) in whatever life situation.

A: Man, my car got a flat on the freeway, then once I got going again my car ran out of gas, what crappy luck.
B: Seems like you saw murphy today!

by Dylan Leibel November 8, 2006

Squirell Murphy

The receiving of, and or, giving of oral copulation on a Gondola. Named for the late S.Murphy and his affinity for "Squirellin' bitches"

Nothing better than a gnargnar powpow day and rounding it off with a good ol Squirell Murphy on the way down!

by Tim Schlossenberger February 10, 2008

Backstab Murphy

When playing a co-op game, a Backstab Murphy is when one player desperately needs a powerup of some sort (usually health), only to be denied the powerup by his fellow gamer who they happen to be co-oping with.

Player 1: Oh, man. A health pack! Finally!

Player 2: SWIPE!!

Player 1: ... Did you seriously decide to go Backstab Murphy on me?

by Nyxandria December 7, 2009