Schrodinger's Fap

An allegory for a terrible porn addiction.
At any given point you are either fapping or not fapping, like your the cat and fapping is the poison.
Paul: "Dude, I can't stop thinking about titties, it feels like at any time im liable to breakdown and masterbate"
Patrick: "well it sounds like your going thru a case of Schrodinger's Fap"
by Founder of Shrodinger's Fap April 29, 2022
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pogo fap

The very difficult task of wacking off while on a pogo stick.
Did you hear about Tommy Wommy Womsters? He tried to do a pogo fap and he wiped out and broke several bones. Now the poor guy can't even cuff his carrot.
by Annoying Little Dad April 24, 2023
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Timed-Fap

Noun - The Process of Masturbating to Orgasm before a certain time.
I need to finish before my parents get home! Time for a Timed-Fap!
by TheGioSerg October 23, 2011
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butterfly fap

When you lube up your feet and sit Indian style, with bottoms of your feet facing each other and use them to beat your dick.
My mom caught me butterfly faping last night while I was on pornhub.com
by Mark Camry April 27, 2015
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spite-fap

Fapping to someone you find morally reprehensible, like Adolph Hitler fapping to Sarah Silverman.
I only watch Fox News to spite-fap to Megyn Kelly.
by Walter Duckface August 08, 2015
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animatic fap

The act of mastrubation with high velocity repeated hand movements at the rate of 24/second. (Just like standard animated films). At this rate, hand movements become extremely blurry and hard to distinguish from a simple untrained eye.

The upgraded version is the cinematic fap with the rate of 60fps (faps per second). It is only achievable by masters and simple humans have no hope to compete with them.
He has achieved an animatic fap. We have no hope to compare with him.
by Don't Stop Me Now October 30, 2019
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fap leather

The cloth that you use to wipe up the semen after masturbating, the name comes from the cloth becoming stiff like leather from all of the use that it gets.
Person one: Hey Joey! I need to get a new fap leather.
Person two: yeah me to mine feels more like a brick than a cloth.
by MrMaclroy July 18, 2018
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