Bed Bug

The scourge of the Earth as far as insects go. The closest thing to a living hell short of a chronic condition or painful disease. A small itchy insect that will cause you to lose sleep to the point where you will verge on the brink of insanity, but after you live with them for a few years you will slowly real yourself back in. Has a strong negative effect on quality of life as a whole, as your work performance will suffer, visitors will find out and never come back or you stop inviting them in the first place (social isolation) and you give up hope for the future as you've gotten rid of almost all your furniture and had your home fumigated several times, but yet, they're still there. If you are allergic (not everyone is) you will NEVER be presentable in public, as you will have red welts on most of the places on your body, such as the back of your arms, the love handle area, around your knees and lower thighs, etc. While sitting idle in your own home, you will rarely ever go two full minutes without itching ever again unless you're moving and active. Without taking some measures to keep their numbers down, you will eventually find that they are traveling in the clothes you're wearing while in public. You'll be checking out some international calling cards at your local Dollar General and look down and see a rust colored bug crawling across your chest. You'll learn to hate them so bad you smoosh them between your fingers whenever you see one.

If I don't get rid of these bed bugs, I may just torch my house and all my possessions and start anew.

by Sifting Through July 23, 2017

bed skunk

After a night of raucous, dirty sex, the bed stinks the next day like a skunk had been in there.

After five days of sex and orgies at a swingers slub, the smell of bed skunk was terrible.

by Tcwilly June 08, 2020

Bed Yam

A person who sits in bed and watches television or plays on the computer too much.

George would rather sit in bed and watch movies ( be a Bed Yam) than go out with his friends.

by sally44567 January 01, 2012

Benji Bed

When your tired but really need to piss

Honeshtly guys I gotta go to Benji Bed

by Damien Darrell August 16, 2021

bed chocolate

A suspicious brown object that you discover upon your pillow when waking in the morning. How did it get there? No one will ever know. Not safe for consumption.

Hobo Jemima: That couldn't have been chocolate.
Hobo Cletus: Why not?
Hobo Jemima: It was too stanky.
Hobo Cletus: You're right... it must have been bed chocolate! Wait, I don't even have a bed!

by fuzzydickwumpkins December 10, 2011

crumbs on the bed

1:

A minor inconvenience that shall hinder your day/night until it is fixed

2:

literally crumbs on the bed

1:
Person 1: ugh its a crumbs on the bed day
Person 2: ughhhhh

2:
Person 1: I have crumbs on my bed
Person 2: damn man that sucks
Person 3: that'd explain where my weed poptart went
Person 1: YOUR WHAT

by WrenFloof#0666 April 18, 2022

hotel bed

Hotel bed is a bed you can enjoy fucking (hard) in. No other reason for having one than that reason alone.

Dude my hotel bed broke from fucking so hard last night.

by Kinkybitch101 March 23, 2015