Beethoven Masturbation

The act of Masturbation committed by any one person whom has not experienced sexual acts first hand, and thus must imagine the pleasure they would receive. Also referred to as a Beethoven Fap, Ludwig Fap, Ludwig Van Fap, etc.

Ground Toucher 1: Man I wish I could get with one of the elites. They're delicious...

Ground Toucher 2: Hah! Good luck, you'll never get one.

Ground Toucher 1: Well, there's always Beethoven Masturbation, right?

by infernlmagician February 4, 2009

gasturbation

(n.) the act of shoving one's penis into one's anus and farting until orgasm

"Son, I think it's time we talk about gasturbation."

"Matthew?!?! How could have been gasturbating in PE today!??!"

by Tom Diputs January 2, 2008

gasturbation

Synonemous with queef,but done while the female is pleasuring herself.

George:*listening at a door* Woah! it sounds like liz is in the middle of gasturbation!
Tony: Tote's Mgotes man!

by mcfidlstyz June 25, 2010

Intellectual Masturbation

Talking about important subjects rationally and objectively and making perfect sense but not taking action towards helping the situations.

Examples of Intellectual Masturbation: Saying things like "If all the rich people in the world gave X % of their money, a lot of world problems would be solved." , or "The money that goes into American Idol could save millions of lives." without doing anything about the issues.

by JohnSmith532452452 October 24, 2015

double fisted masturbation

this widely known form of masturbation most commonly takes place in the shower. but can also be preformed in a locked room wit the usage of ones saliva and/or lotion (if hes lucky enough to have at the time).

if not they may use other lubrication formulas such as:

eggwash, brownie batter (without walnuts,,,self explanatory), hand sanitizer the most common household usage....acne medication AND saved jizz from a previous masturbation.

OMG! i just walked in on larry preforming the double fisted masturbation! The amateur didnt lock the door.

by the double fisters November 28, 2009

Female Masturbation

The act in which a female will complete the act that many men like to call, “Busting and fat one”

It normally results in a liquid being released from the vagina. This is something that men normally enjoy during a session of watching pornography.

Homie #1: Dude, I just watched some porn and busted a fattie.

Homie #2: To what? Lesbo?

Homie #1: Nah bro. Female Masturbation

by LaDenzell Jenkins November 15, 2019

ice cream masturbation

The act of walking back from an ice cream machine while you use the ice cream cone as a dick and make it look like you're groping it back and forth while you moan.

Sean was doing an ice cream masturbation while Mr. Hammer watched and smiled.

by Sean Coughlin January 24, 2008