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Assing the Lobster

The sadomasochistic act of inserting a live lobster into one's anus, prior to anal intercourse.

The aim of "Assing the Lobster" is for the penetrator to achieve orgasm without having their penis irreparably mutilated by the increasingly agitated lobster that is residing the host's rectum.

This incredibly reckless sexual act usually ends up with the host dying of internal haemorrhaging and the partner severely injured and mentally scarred. The lobster is generally indifferent once released from the host's devastated bunghole. 100% Would. Not. recommended.
"Karen made me play assing the lobster last night. My cock looks like fucking slinky now."

"Jeez, man. Fuck Karen!" ...

"That was the problem! At least she's dead now"
by zoidburg_is_not_a_fan September 18, 2019
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Lobster Claw

The sexual act of using one hand to pleasure a woman's vagina and anus simultaneously.

This is done by joining the pointer finger and middle into one claw and inserting in one hole, while forming the the second claw with the ring finger and pinkie and inserting into another hole.
Jimmy: "Man I totally lobster clawed that girl out last night."
Frankie: "Oh yea? Did you claw her up hard?"
Jimmy: "Hell yea I did, I Lobstered her all night!"
by AyeSugarTits May 30, 2018
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Hairy Red Lobster

When a guy whips out his junk as he jumps off a diving board.
Dude, see those chicks over there on the other side of the pool? I'll bet you 20 bucks you won't show em your hairy red lobster.
by Hairy Red Lobster February 12, 2021
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Lobster pilled

Accepting that, while it's perfectly natural to want to fight against hierarchical structures, social hierarchies are also perfectly natural and are an essential part of existing as an intelligent, social species. Serotonin-based social hierarchies have existed for 100's of millions of years and due to the nature of their existence they can never truly be destroyed, only replaced.
Yeah bro, Bakunin's take on the dictatorship of the proletariat was pretty based and Lobster pilled.
by hello muddah September 20, 2022
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lobster energy

similar to bde, or big dick energy. a scale of to 20 based on how close you are in body type to larry the lobster, extra points if you live by the sea.
daniel: damn rate my lobster energy
katherine: send a pic
daniel: *sends pic*
katherine: damn you're an absolute 20
by CatPersun December 22, 2020
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Iraq lobster

by Hedroix January 22, 2025
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lobster cage

The act of pleasuring oneself using the palm of their hand to enclose only the bell of the penis, resembling a cage over a lobster.
Phillip: “Hey, Dave! How did your date with Linda go last night? You get any action?”

(Not) Dave: “Nah man..” *sigh* “She had to split beefo dinn. But don’t worry ‘bout ya boi tho. Treated myself to a lobster cage!” 😎👉👉 🦞

Phillip: “Wait. Who the fuck are you?”
by Not Dave. June 2, 2020
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