Bed Bug

The scourge of the Earth as far as insects go. The closest thing to a living hell short of a chronic condition or painful disease. A small itchy insect that will cause you to lose sleep to the point where you will verge on the brink of insanity, but after you live with them for a few years you will slowly real yourself back in. Has a strong negative effect on quality of life as a whole, as your work performance will suffer, visitors will find out and never come back or you stop inviting them in the first place (social isolation) and you give up hope for the future as you've gotten rid of almost all your furniture and had your home fumigated several times, but yet, they're still there. If you are allergic (not everyone is) you will NEVER be presentable in public, as you will have red welts on most of the places on your body, such as the back of your arms, the love handle area, around your knees and lower thighs, etc. While sitting idle in your own home, you will rarely ever go two full minutes without itching ever again unless you're moving and active. Without taking some measures to keep their numbers down, you will eventually find that they are traveling in the clothes you're wearing while in public. You'll be checking out some international calling cards at your local Dollar General and look down and see a rust colored bug crawling across your chest. You'll learn to hate them so bad you smoosh them between your fingers whenever you see one.

If I don't get rid of these bed bugs, I may just torch my house and all my possessions and start anew.

by Sifting Through July 23, 2017

Bed excuse

An excuse, (usually a bad excuse) that people use when they cancel on something but actually just want to sleep together.

Ah my boyfriend is tired and wants to go home.
Ah thats just a Bed excuse!

I am so tired tonight... i cant come to the party...sorry
ah, yea your boyfriend said the same... thats a bed excuse girl!

by MakgeoliDaan September 26, 2011

Bed Strength

1: When you are so weak, it's as if you have just woken up moments before.
2: When you are sexually fit.

Guy 1: Hey man, can you help me with this couch?
Guy 2: Sorry man, I can't right now, I'm having some serious issues with some bed strength right now.

by spike117 February 24, 2012

dirty bed

Commonly referred to when an over weight male has a weak boner and is then sat on by his fat wife in bed. This causes him to take a giant shit from the excitement, resulting in a duo of snow angle activity in the pile of excess body fluids.

I was in the middle of a porn video, when my grandmother called me asking if i could wipe her ass cause she's so fat she can't reach around. My wife Judy jumped on my 2 inch junk, causing an instant dirty bed.

by MethDuck February 21, 2014

jizz bed

The bed in which one jizzes upon their partner, or has their partner jizz upon them.

Guy A: Last night my girlfriend totally ruined my bed sheets.

Guy B: Oh yeah, looks like you got a jizz bed!

by Andrea Sheikha June 29, 2011

Bed Yam

A person who sits in bed and watches television or plays on the computer too much.

George would rather sit in bed and watch movies ( be a Bed Yam) than go out with his friends.

by sally44567 January 1, 2012

Bed shuffle

The little dance you do when you first get into bed and its freezing cold and you need to warm your spot up.

It was so cold last night I must have done and 5 min bed shuffle

by Emnor January 22, 2016