crossfit jesus

A person who is obsessed with crossfit and metalcore music. They are so talented at crossfit, they feel the need to participate in it almost every day, even when injured. Also known as WWE Superstar Seth Rollins.

My friend keeps sending me pictures of crossfit jesus lifting weights and she needs to stop.

by Sk8rWolfy August 9, 2016

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raptor jesus

Nowere in the bible does it say that jesus isnt a raptor.

Lawl im in your base killing all your mans. -raptor jesus

by f1r3wAll September 7, 2006

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jesus handle

The handle above the windows in most cars, so called for the propensity of people to shout "Oh Jesus!" while clutching it in mortal terror at the driver's skill level or sanity.

Also known as an oh shit handle.

My aunt is such a terrible driver. Whenever she drives everyone clings to their jesus handles.

by Ko'rhyan March 26, 2009

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RN jesus

Usually associated with video games,
RNJesus is the deity of RNG. (random number generators)

When the outcome of a certain scenario could be determined by a random factor most players can do nothing except pray to RNJesus.

(1) "I was playing Hearthstone and the guy had 3 hp so I prayed to RN jesus and played mad bomber, my prayers were answered and I won"
(2) "I was playing first round T-side running and spamming my glock, RN jesus gave me two headshots"

by Velen August 8, 2016

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Maria Jesus

Maaria Jesus is the most amazing person youll ever meet, and one of the few people that will stay with you no matter what. Shes is a gorgeous girl who by first glance looks kinda bitchy but as you get to know her that thought gets out of your head, very close to her family and friend members so if you do anything to them a Maria Jesus will fuck you up.

-Omg did you see what Maria Jesus did to the boy yesterday.
-Yeah i saw he got fucked up.
- Basically he staryed talking shit about her family

by larita.patitas October 25, 2020

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