Spreading

When you spread your shit to form a solid layer. Remember to cover your ass when you take a shower to build those layers! Or just don't shower at all.

Guy 1: Damn man, I forgot to cover my ass and my spread melted from the shower.
Guy 2: Why the fuck would you shower in the first place if you're spreading?
Guy 1: idk

by Benoodle5 April 6, 2020

Goon Spread

When a man spreads his ass on a video call while gooning

Alex just goon spreaded!!

by Yung weej May 12, 2024

God spreading

Ultra version of man spreading

Dude, stop god spreading the car is already stuffy.

by WarKami September 9, 2021

wide-spread panic

What elder tongue-cluckers claim to feel anytime they hear of a lot of da hot chicks in their area being "free with their crotches" when approached by tongue-lolling young studs with raging boners.

Anytime I hear of a much-publicized "wide-spread panic" among da churchy grandparents and older aunts/uncles in a given area, I just roll my eyes and figger dat said eyebrow-raisers are either merely jealous dat they themselves aren't "getting any" at da time, and/or they are forgetting how they themselves often did da very same thing when THEY were these younger folks' age!

by QuacksO May 11, 2022

Spreading the Dog

When someone bends over and there ass gets wider.

Andrew was spreading the dog when he dropped the cap.

by ALblondie96 February 13, 2022

Sploodge Spreading

Like the act of muck-spreading, but in this case you helicopter your penis whilst cumming.

Guys! Jim Brad And James are Sploodge Spreading! Open Wide!

Guys! Someone is Sploodge Spreading, try to catch it in your mouth like snow!

by romaaw May 13, 2024

Five Course Taco Spread

A sex position in which a man, while drinking Margaritas, uses a dental cheek opener to spread the vulva of a woman wearing a catholic school girl uniform, and then proceeds to insert five crucifixes into the woman’s vagina while performing the act of sodomy as to not offend the Catholic God.

Tina was a born-again Virgin, but needed to satisfy her alcoholic Mexican boyfriend so he wouldn’t seek sexual pleasure elsewhere so she allows him to perform the Five Course Taco Spread on her after school.

by TacoJonathon July 26, 2020