procrasturbate

To waste otherwise valuable time in self-stimulation of the genitals, or more metaphorically, to waste time doing something unrelated and unimportant to the task at hand; it must be of great interest/pleasure to oneself but only to oneself (which separates it from procrastination) and must have no real positive or substantial upshots.

Keane should be writing an essay but he's procrasturbating.

I can see why nothing gets done in the house; Suzy often tends to procrasturbate by watching The Notebook over and over again.

by Keane B June 11, 2006

procrasterbate

v. to masturbate instead of tending to one's responsibilities, where the obvious and more productive and/or beneficial choice, such as finishing one's work or getting much needed rest, is put off for the duration of the "me time" session, and often ignored altogether.

see also procrasterbation, procrasterbator, procrasterbatory

frank: sorry i'm too tired to drive, man. i'm exhausted.
dave: really? didnt you go to your room to pass out at real early last night?
frank: yeah, but i didn't end up going to sleep until about 3 or so.
dave: why?
frank: i dont know, man. i watched "wild things" and it was stupid of me, but i started to procrasterbate for however long it takes form the opening credits to the end of that threesome scene.

or

jenny: what time will you be ready to go to the store to get ingredients for chili night?
kara: probably about five o'clock or so, but call me.
jenny: i swear, if you procrasterbate and aren't ready until a quarter past, you're done for.

by steve m g December 26, 2007

procass

noun.
1. a person who procastinates to a great extent yet still manages to do better on their problem sets and exams than anyone else in the class.

2. someone who procastinates and is an ass about it.

guy 1: i got a 95% on that exam and i only studied for five minutes before the test!
guy 2: fuck you man, i spent all week preparing for that test.
guy 1: maybe you should try being smarter, or at least less dumb.
guy 2: god you're such a procass.

by truffer hoffer December 28, 2005

Procrastibation

Like twiddling your thumbs, but with a more exciting conclusion.

"Eh, I had a few hours before going out, so I got in some solid procrastibation."

by DeBaser485 December 21, 2008

productive procrastination

putting off doing something which really needs to be done by doing something else instead which needs to be done.

she was an expert in the art of productive procrastination always putting off doing things but getting so much else done instead being such a contrarian.

by DavidofOrgamianity.org July 29, 2012

proculsexual

Where you are attracted to someone/somebody you know you won’t be in a relationship with for example celebrities or fictional characters.

Occurs a lot in teenage girls towards older boys.

Emily: Duuuude I have such a huge crush on Adam!

Me: See that’s why you are proculsexual

by Jessica Whitlock June 2, 2021

Reverse-methane process

When you have so much air pressure in your intestine that your bowls begin to retract causeing an imbigulously involuntary extraction of fecies into the lavoritory causing the dihydrogen monoxide to be intercalated into your rectum.

Doctor: your son will not be living much longer.
Parent: why?
Doctor: im sorry to say that he... he(sigh).. he has undergone the Reverse-methane process.
Parent: thats to bad. i guess.

by Rolf M Nate G June 3, 2005