"Jesus buttfuckin Christ, what's this terrible smell? It smells like
truffle butter mixed with dogshit"
"My gf spent the whole morning making this meal for me before leaving for work, but never told her she's
fucking terrible at cooking. Would you
do me a favor and eat this for me?"
"You sick mofo. You know I can't say no to my best friend. Well, bon app-a-queef, I guess."