Woody Towel

A woody towel is the bar rag male bartenders tuck in the front of the britches supposedly for wiping off their hands. In reality it is to cover their "wood" as in "I would love to..." when face to face with a hottie or face to flesh with a pair of mounds more than a mouthful. It conveniently covers the bulge, re-adjustment, as well as subtle massage in an inconspicious manner under the guise of wiping one's hands.

With the nipples pressing to escape the fabric in front of the bartender's eyes, the bar rag in the back pocket was subtley switched to the front, thus becoming a woody towel.

by BigRedBeast May 13, 2011

Dry Towel

For when you have run out of weed and you cant get any.

Hey bro, you got any weed?
Nah, im a dry towel.

by Nineinchnails90 December 1, 2011

Piss towel

when you piss but are all out of toilet paper so you shamefully grab the nearest towel

Cleetus got roaches because he wouldn't stop using the piss towel without washing it.

by bleachcupcakezz October 9, 2025

towel molestation

When moles dig into a towel

Damn i have towel molestation in my towels

by Frogbigfartpissyman June 20, 2021

A Towel that Washed

When a young person challenges an older person to a towel-snapping contest...and they lose.

Tommy thought he could beat his dad in a towel-snapping contest. The bruise on Tommy's leg shows he is A TOWEL THAT WASHED.

by Miagi BrainNog September 29, 2025

Towel Cereal

(ˈtou(ə)l/ ˈsirēəl) :
The act of eating cereal while in a towel

“He likes to eat towel cereal before gaining the motivation to get clothes”

by LiterallyQueenB May 8, 2018

soggy paper towel

An acceptable insult for the type of person to tea-bag after every kill, then rage quit the first time they die.

Man that last bastard we killed was a real soggy paper towel.

by Muuur dar June 9, 2019