The Roman Empire Roast Game

The fact that Roman families literally ate their own children as their "Saturnalia Feasts" after slaughtering them for not believing in the titular god of agriculture, Saturn.

This is similar to the original "American" Roast Game, but would happen in Roman thousands of years before the original one.

Despite the Earths population at the time, it's estimated that 9 billion Roman babies were consumed between the ages of 0-14 (this is because the age of adults was lower back then). It is believed this population cover up was due in part to a deep state conspiracy involving the Vatican Church, ushering in the Holy Roman Empire.

Citizens of Rome, hear me now! Just as those distant peoples—whom we shall name "Americans"—will, in the fullness of time, some two thousand five hundred years hence, engage in such folly, so too do we, the sons and daughters of this great Empire, partake in mirth and jest. Yet, what they will one day call their own, we have already named and perfected. Behold, it is called *Ludus Imperii Romani*—The Roman Empire Roast Game!

In this noble contest, we test our wits and humor, casting barbs not of war, but of words, and in so doing, we sharpen our minds as the sword does our bodies. Thus, let it be known—though the future may seem distant, we, the Romans, lead the way in laughter as in all things.

by The Gallagher April 7, 2025

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