TRUMP ALTERNATE REALITY SYNDROME (TARS)

The condition wherein Donald Trump's (deplorable) base ignores his countless lies, and ignores his countless misstatements of facts. These loyal followers, suffering from T.A.R.S., choose to give their leader/ paper tiger, a PASS on all the diarrhea that spews forth from his mouth. These sufferers live in a dimension where facts don't matter. "Alternative Facts" are an acceptable substitute.

At the Thanksgiving dinner table, I listened in disbelief as my redneck Uncle Cletus, who suffers from Trump Alternate Reality Syndrome (TARS), waxed philosophic about Donald Trump's "record-breaking inauguration crowds".

by DemocracyLover4EVA January 8, 2019

Reality Cheque

A reality cheque can be an imaginary or crudely drawn cheque sized piece of paper you hand someone when it's clear their getting too detatched from reality. Implying that they should cash it and come back down to earth from their emotional or psychological trip in the clouds. Used as a funnier alternative to yelling "Reality Check" and can sometimes be more effective due to subtlety.

"Aww man my girlfriend didn't text back right away, she must hate me. It's all over i may aswell just end it."

"Dude, chill, it's probably fine."

"Aww it hurts bro, she doesn't want me, she's gonna break my heart i know it. Just like every other girl in history! Why do i bother! It's all so stupid!..."

"Well.....i'm just gonna write you a little reality cheque here...............theeere we go. And you get back to me when you've tightened that loose screw mkay?"

by TheWelshman July 22, 2012

Realistic Randy

Any sex move that consists of the use of a curling iron, a little blue pill, salsa, motor oil, anal beads, painters tape, a 1967 penny, a finger from a broken statue, or a slinky dog(like from the movie Toy Story.)

Bro 1: "Dude I gave this girl a realistic randy last night."
Bro 2: " Really what objects did you use?"
Bro 1: " I tied her down with the slinky dog, shoved the 1967 penny in her mouth, poured a little salsa in her mouth then covered her mouth with painters tape. Then proceeded to pop the pill myself, applied the motor oil as lube, stuck the curling iron in her vajay... dont worry it was on low, and then finished by fucking her in the ass."
Bro 2: "What kind of salsa did you use?"

by welshes grape juice January 15, 2011

Making love to reality

The need to thrust your hips towards an imaginary figure of air while giving everyone seductive eyes and a curling of the upper lip.

The night was going great, especially when Jorge clenched his fists and began making love to reality on the dance floor.

by swaysnicks December 18, 2009

Reality Tweaker

Someone who's personal definition of reality, is stronger than the view of the general consensus. A reality tweaker is someone who percieves things correctly, but perhaps, neglects to hone in on the smaller details, that fill out the bigger picture, therein bending the facts to their own whims. It is impossible to get an accurate retelling of events from a reality tweaker, and it is difficult to convey common sense instructions, because many facts will be tweaked, and lost along the way. Never assume that a reality tweaker will understand the simplicity in what you are trying to convey. Reality tweakers are not dumb or retarded, and my surprise you ultimately by their ability to understand complex ideas as well. It is impossible to ever truely predict the actions of a reality tweaker.

Jean: Kyle what are you doing with that VHS tape?
Kyle: Well, my grandma gave me this video to watch, but I don't have a VCR, so I'm running it under the tap to soften it up so I can crack it open and watch the pictures inside. It's gonna be great!
Jean: There are no pictures inside, it's a magnetic strip!
Kyle: No, you see, the water will be polarized by the magnetic charge, and I'll run through the strip, then it'll get subliminally imprinted onto my brain, and I'll dream it next time I sleep. I've got it all figured out.
Jean: Reality Tweaker!

by p@$$ing thr.ugh January 11, 2010

Reality Show Writer

(n) An easy way out of explaining unemployment or a euphemism for being unemployed.

Jill: So what exactly do you do for a living?
Michael: I'm a Reality Show Writer.
Jill: Wow, that sounds very interesting.
Michael: Well, it's actually quite boring, if you must know.

by kishmich April 27, 2010

Reality Blockers

Eye Masks worn by those people who do not want to have their sleep disturbed. Nothing is worse than being interrupted by a sunlight right before or after falling asleep. To ensure you stay snoozing in daylight time wear your eye mask so not a single ray of sunshine will penetrate.

"Many unemployed are in the habit of keeping odd hours. These are the people who are able to stay up all night because they’ve slept all day. Their night time activities are not newsworthy but they lurk late into the night just because they can. Oftentimes they go to sleep simply because they’ve run out of things to do, and sleep itself is a popular unemployed activity.
When it’s finally time to go to bed the last thing the unemployed want is to have their sleep disturbed. Nothing is worse than being interrupted by a garbage truck, street cleaners, sunlight, or a significant other getting up for work right before or after falling asleep. To ensure they stay snoozing the unemployed will wear reality blockers so not a single ray of hopeful sunshine will penetrate the REM cycle."

by sergemalov August 23, 2011