A very good computer company. Unlike what most people say, HP constantly provides what you paided for. Now HP cry babies will come along and yell about how their top of the line system sucks because it ain't so top of the line anymore. Blame the company because you can't spend $50 a month to keep it up-to-date.
Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.
The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.
All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.
Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Further more, Computer Illiterate people will come along and claim that the machine is making strange noises, or that it is too slow. Guess what... it is called a damn virus you idiots. Spyware Aware and probally half of your porn collection is wormed. Heck, torrent downloads have a 5:1 chance of containing trojans and you probally STILL don't have Alcohol 120%.
The Majority of hardware issues are caused because of your stupidity throwing the laptop accross the room will not make it work better. Also to be noted is that only geeks should be allowed to touch computer hardware... macho men don't have a big enough brain to do more then rip out the wires and smash their graphics card like a monkey.
All in all, HP is both cheaper then dell in all 'real' fields. Sure dell can sell you a do-nothing computer, but HP will sell you a system that works, and is actually worth buying.
Why post this? Because half of you are too ignorant to know how to turn your computer on... let alone take it to the store to get fixed.
Idiot: "Hewlett Packard sucks"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"
Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"
Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"
Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
Smart: "Go do the world a favor and shoot yourself."
Idiot: "How?"
Smart: "Here, I'll do it for you"
Idiot: "My hp computer sucks... lets go buy an alienware computer... it looks cooler"
Idiot: "Hey, Hewlett Packard Support... YOU SUCK, MY COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT"
Support: "Did you run a virus scan?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "How about put in that 'recovery cd' that came with your computer"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Or do you even have your computer insured?"
Idiot: "Uhh"
Support: "Have a nice day"
Idiot: "Dude, HP sucks, it can't run Black"
Smart: "And how old is your computer"
Idiot: "Eight years... but it runs Doom 1 SOO GOOD"
by STFU Whiners May 16, 2006
Get the hewlett packard mug.The grotesque act of folding your arm up to where your palm meets your shoulder to give your arm the appearance of a large bludgeon, and inserting it into ones anal cavity.
by Relyk May 22, 2018
Get the Pickaxed mug.Related Words
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by bbumlinger January 22, 2017
Get the rusty packard mug.A man who has a penis large enough to fit a magnum condom comfortably with out it sliding off inside of you or tying it up on the side.
"Hey girl! Is he working with the gold package? because you know I CAN'T BE SOLD IF IT AIN'T THE GOLD!!"
by Quita Jackson aka Ronnie March 30, 2007
Get the the gold package mug.Male, balding character in tights who is Captain of the starship Enterprise from *Star Trek : The next Generation*.
He drove a wierd buggy-car in ST: Nemesis,
And was turned into a Borgling at some point. He has a pet lionfish, and was born someplace in California. Among his crew are an android Data, a slightly telepathic Counsellor, Deanna Troi, and a dude with a mustache, First Officer Riker. He likes to order "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot" from the replicator (personally, I think someone who gets into battles every other episode, and has lost multiple Enterprises should have something a bit stronger to drink).
He has a couple of old, paper-bound books, and Violates the Prime Directive on occasion. And, IIRC, his ship's designation was NCC 1701 -D or E or something similar.
He drove a wierd buggy-car in ST: Nemesis,
And was turned into a Borgling at some point. He has a pet lionfish, and was born someplace in California. Among his crew are an android Data, a slightly telepathic Counsellor, Deanna Troi, and a dude with a mustache, First Officer Riker. He likes to order "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot" from the replicator (personally, I think someone who gets into battles every other episode, and has lost multiple Enterprises should have something a bit stronger to drink).
He has a couple of old, paper-bound books, and Violates the Prime Directive on occasion. And, IIRC, his ship's designation was NCC 1701 -D or E or something similar.
Picard : Tea! Earl Grey! Hot!
Replicator *delivers iced latte*
Picard : OMGWTFBBQ!!! Geordi! Get down here!
***loosely paraphrased from short story***
Replicator *delivers iced latte*
Picard : OMGWTFBBQ!!! Geordi! Get down here!
***loosely paraphrased from short story***
by ST : Voyager fan July 4, 2005
Get the Jean-Luc Picard mug.n. (Military jargon) The essential workings of a nuclear or thermonuclear weapon. The "physics package" is designed by scientists at a weapons lab and comprises all the nuclear reactants used in the device, such as plutonium, lithium deuteride, etc. The military then decides how to deploy it (missiles, bombs, backpacks).
Military weaponeer: "The B-66A is an advanced, bunker-busting, anti-raghead weapon that is based on the Los Alamos E-1337 physics package. The guidance system uses a special neural network code to identify and deliver the device against brown-skinned persons of the Muslim persuasion..."
Dick Cheney: (Evil grin) "We're pleased with your rapid progress. The so-called "Ramadan" starts next month!"
Dick Cheney: (Evil grin) "We're pleased with your rapid progress. The so-called "Ramadan" starts next month!"
by Carl Willis October 17, 2004
Get the physics package mug.A slang term for a Penis. Star Trek the next generations Captain Jean-Luc Picard is given god like status by the Mintakan people who start to refer to him as "The Picard" sounds like a good name for cock, Captain Picard's head is round, bald, and has some hair around the sides..
Tristan. "Hey man are you going to give me some of The Picard soon?"
Denver. "You don't want to make The Picard angry"
Tristan. "Warp speed to Brown town"
Denver. "You don't want to make The Picard angry"
Tristan. "Warp speed to Brown town"
by RollmeOneKenobi September 10, 2013
Get the The Picard mug.