wank job

Slightly classier cousin of the hand job.
The countess provided me with a glorious wank job
by Callum Mako April 11, 2004
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bean wank

a male pouring beans over his own genitals while masturbating

also you can swop the word for nearly anything

e.g. a cup of tea, hot oil, tears (also known as a cry wank)
i had a bean wank lastnight with heinz
by biggaydaverave April 24, 2008
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Sensual Wank

A truly romantic, and meaningful masturbation session. Legs spread, ass naked, scented candles burning, rose petals on satin sheets etc. Must last at least an hour to be considered a Sensual Wank.
"Hey guys, don't come in my room for another three hours. I'll be engaged in a Sensual Wank."

"Man, you Sensually Wank everyday. I was going to borrow a shirt yesterday, but the door was locked and Marvin Gaye was playing all afternoon."
by thefeedingeagle April 29, 2010
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Wank Burgled

Having allocated time for onanistic endeavor, plans are foiled by the unexpected arrival of unwanted person or persons. (usually flat mates, worse parents).
"I got home from work early and had made all the necessary preparations when my flatmate returned and goddamn WANK BURGLED me."
by Smister Loan August 04, 2008
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albacore wanking

When you have a wank over Jessica Alba. Albacore porn is considered the hottest type of porn
Dude, yesterday I had some hardcore albacore wanking.
by Ovat February 20, 2008
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Facebook wank

When you have a wank over a picture of someone on facebook. Generally frowned upon.
Person 1: I had a facebook wank yesterday.

Person 2: Really? That's pretty creepy.
by AWKY AWK February 21, 2011
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Speed Wank

When you start masturbating, call from your bedroom to a parent and try to cum before they make it upstairs.
Boy:MUM!!!
10 seconds later..
Mum: Oh my god why did you call me here?!
Boy: i failed at the speed wank.
by Adventchild November 12, 2009
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