condolences window

The time period within which it is still reasonable to expect condolences for the death of a relative.

Dave: My uncle Pete died 5 years ago today.
Andy: Yeah, do you want to go to the pub tonight?
Dave: What the fuck, I just told you that my uncle Pete died.
Andy: Yeah, and?
Dave: Well, aren't you going to say "I'm sorry"?
Andy: Fuck that, 5 years is way outside the condolences window!

by Mentirosa August 6, 2011

eating a fire and ice condom

When you eat food that is hot and cold at the same time like the highly advertised trojan condoms. This is way worse then sex.

Madeleine: My polish sausage is hot but the bun and onions are cold.
Brooke: That sucks.
Madeleine: Its like eating a fire and ice condom.

by tosh18 January 16, 2011

sand condom

a lubricated condom covered in sand used for anal sex

Susie cheated on my so i sand condomed her ass last night, thats gunna be painful in the morning.

by kris o July 20, 2007

hershey condom

a man takes a shit, sticks a dildo in it and sticks it in the freezer overnight. The next day he takes out the dildo and uses the crap as a condom

Dude I fucked that girl with a hershey condom.

by hershey condom December 14, 2009

The Condolingus Special

When you have sex with a girl doggie style, while she eats out another girl, while that girl is giving head to your best friend and you and your best friend high-five over the two girls, creating an epic eiffel tower.

Yo, last night me and Brandon brought home these two girls and we performed the Condolingus special on them.

by steezeeasy16 August 21, 2011

condom

A:a protector of the unknown lol!
B:penis protector
C:something ppl like to blow up (like a balloon!)

1:TROJAN MAN!!!!!!
2:*dont worry im protected!*
3:?????????????

by mandi December 11, 2004

body condom

A body condom is an imaginary device that one might wish they had when they break down and have sexual intercourse with a really filthy woman. Her vagina reeks, and you can be certain that she is a candidate for having multiple STDs. Unfortunately, you don't have a body condom, and you are really horny, so you don a normal condom and dive in, hoping for the best.

1. That bitch was really nasty. I fucked her, but really wish I had worn a body condom, for a bit more protection.

2. That infestation of pubic lice could have been prevented by using a body condom!

by Rook's Buddy May 10, 2010