Actually means, 'I need to talk, You better listen'.

Generally pronounced by a female voice
Susan: Dera, we need to talk.
Sam: (time to put all my non-listening skills I been practicing)
by [offbeat] April 11, 2004
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I need to dump you, and it's suddenly "our" problem/fault. Often said to be a girl phrase, is in fact used just as often by guys. When employed in e-mail, is an attempt to simultaneously sever e-mail contact and preclude actual "talk"...
emails: We need to talk. I'll call you.
Never quite summons up courage to call. Hopes like hell she won't e-mail or ring, and that he can skulk off into the night. Sign of cowardice, therefore an automatic disqualifier when it comes to relationship material...
by Robina22 October 18, 2005
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She means "I want to whine, bitch, and nag about something you did, known and unknown to you!" It can also mean that she has nothing worth saying at all. Be prepared for a half-hour impromptu sermon on whatever she has on her mind (and that would me many random things).

It is especcially annoying when she uses the word "we", knowing damn well that SHE is the one who will be doing all the talking.
Susan: Honey, we need to talk about your insensitivity to my feelings.
by AYB September 24, 2003
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Synonymous with the words "you're doomed" and "run for your bloody life".
Meghan: Daryl, we need to talk.
Daryl: Sure, honey, just a moment.
(jumps out third-story window)
by MalumLibrum958 October 1, 2020
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A woman's way of addressing an issue with her boyfriend/husband generally resulting in the boyfriend/husband first breaking out into a sweat/rash/hives and then being severly punished (dumped) for whatever they did wrong
After Mike called Sandy a whore at the opera, Sandy told Mike "we need to talk"
by Dyanna September 21, 2003
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What she says.

He hears: "Fuck off and die."

He thinks: "I guess this means no blowjob tonight."
She: "We need to talk."

He: "I guess this means no blowjob tonight."
by tman April 8, 2004
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