Veneer Criminal

Veneer Criminal: A modern twist on the classic career criminal, the veneer criminal is often a high-level UK drug dealer known for dental veneers, or 'turkey teeth.' They flaunt a flashy lifestyle, with designer brands like Gucci, Rolex watches, and flashy cars. Their partners are often bright orange from tanning, have bold gaffer tape eyebrows, and have had bad cosmetic enhancements like boob jobs and duck lips. They love to flex their wealth on social media, despite having no legitimate income, making them an easy target for the police. In fact, the police don’t even need to leave the station; they can simply browse social media and catch them flaunting their wealth. They spend most of their time vacationing in Dubai and decades in UK prison.

Lee: Frank, guess who I bumped into the other day? Tommy from school bruv!

Frank: Oh yeah? What’s he up to now?

Lee: He’s got them Turkey teeth now and a sick German whip and a hot orange bird now.

Frank, how can he afford all that bruv?.

Lee: I think he's a veneer criminal now, Bruv.

Frank: LOL.

by Jamie Cheese November 28, 2025

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Veneers Pulled Under Your Ears

Veneers Pulled Under Your Ears:
A new trend dental scam, mainly abroad in places like Turkey, you could get scammed out of your money entirely, paying for services that don’t even exist, sometimes from non-existent online dentists. Often, they’ll grind down perfectly good teeth, leaving you with a cartoonish, exaggerated smile. Then, you have to return to the UK to fix the damage, which can cost tens of thousands of pounds. It’s basically the dental equivalent of having wool pulled over your eyes, leaving you with a mouthful of regret and a hefty bill to fix it back home.

Lee: Frank, have you seen Lewis's teeth? They’re well white, well nice! Bruv.
Frank: Don't be a muppet bruv! They look terrible, he looks like Bugs Bunny! LOL it's not hard to get the veneers pulled Under your ears these days bruv. LOL probably got well scammed out in Turkey bruv. LOL.

Lee: Init bruv LOL.

by Jamie Cheese December 22, 2025

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Insta-Veneer

The idealized representation of one's life, as represented on Instagram, that one wishes others to believe is true. Often supported by exaggerated accounts of social exploits, and generally accompanied by deliberately posed photographs, one's Instagram Veneer often masks a depressingly banal existence.

I got a peek behind Clarinda's Insta-Veneer yesterday. I don't know who the guy or the kids in her pictures are, because there was no trace of them in her tiny apartment on skid row.

by anonymous May 30, 2022

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