Malteser

A person with Maltese heritage in their family and is a bit of a dick head/smart ass sometimes. Usually, this dickheaded-ness AND OR smart-ass gene is passed on from the father.

Seb and Mathew are such Maltesers.

by Tim the boi from Straya July 12, 2019

Malteser

A teacher who is apparently REALLY fit but has maffis eyes and is on anti-depressants and is also rumoured to be a the forgotten star on porn hub (and is also a real bitch/slut)

"I wonder is my teacher a Malteser"

by idonthavechlamidiya June 12, 2018

Malteser pleaser

Another name for someone’s asshole or anus

“God i would love to stick it in her Malteser pleaser”

by Yourtitsbelonginamorgue March 8, 2023

Puckering Maltesers

The act of shiting oneself in fear so much that you can't retain control of your asshole and so little globs of malteser shaped poo come out uncontrollably.

Manchester United are puckering maltesers at the prospect of playing Manchest City today.

by SebilCrostar August 7, 2025

the sloppy maltese

When you giving yo girl head, but your head is.. her head? And then you make out but with your butts.

yooooooo, I gave Elishica The Sloppy Maltese the other day and she said "hey where tf did my head go SHIT HOW'D IT GET ON YUOR BODY D:"

by anonymous April 23, 2022

Maltese

A metaphor for what a yuppie white girl wants to do her "man". Castrate him, emasculate him to the point he becomes her toy dog with separation anxiety and anger issues.

I saw the Maltese wearing khaki pants holding her hand in Uptown. Dam, he needs all the false hope nugenixs has to offer.

by Kosmack May 15, 2022

Pink Malteser

The name commonly referring to a small penis; Malteser being the name of a popular confectionery brand in the UK in the form of small chocolate balls.

"Wow, did you see the size of that guys cock?"
"Yeah, I know! It was about the size of a Pink Malteser!"

by Phantasium August 31, 2012