Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.
by Catamount June 21, 2008
Get the SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi mug.

Not to Spank The Monkey

A way of saying not to beat around bush or I’m not bull shitting you.
by Skibidi D June 21, 2024
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Spank the monkey

Man 1: Just spank the monkey man you will fill better
by SmartName December 06, 2018
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Spank the Monkey

A well known phrase, usually exclaimed in commentary when Clydebank FC's Nicky Little scores a goal
That is absolutely SPANK THE MONKEY from Nicky Little. That is disgusting!
by Doricbankie96 July 31, 2021
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spank monkey man

a term used by a wife for her husband because he doesn't get enough sex and has to wank a lot instead.
by thistlemuncher May 14, 2011
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spank the monkey

A fukn children's book you probably never heard of.
Y U freakin' out ppl, its just a book! "Spank the monkey lends a hand"
by xxdickyboyxx August 23, 2020
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