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primate

Any of the order Primates, which includes the monkeys, apes, and humans.

Also, an unfortunate bit of slang referring to humans of mainly African ancestry.
The Bonobo chimp is a primate.
by Zontar the Destructor March 25, 2004
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Sub-Primate

In 2001A.D., a new species of man/woman was discovered in the southern region of California, Orange county. This mutant species wasn’t found by scientists, there were discovered by lending institutions. This new species is called, “Sub-Primate,” and they’re direct descendants of all who are Nigger Rich.

Huddled in apartment complexes throughout the region, the species began growing in vast numbers due to attractive lease incentives offered by their local Audi, BMW, Infinity, Lexus, and Mercedes Benz dealerships. Basking in the “Ohhhs and Ahhhs” of being seen in their leased chariots, the Sub-Primates began to yearn for more out their meager existence.

One evening, while acting like they actually had two pennies to rub together down at the local Starbucks, Sub-Primates from the Ladera Ranch Tribe overheard some grunts and cackles of the Aliso Viejo Tribe. These grunts and cackles told a story of how a 28 year old Blockbuster employee, without a high school diploma, $6.15 in his savings account opened by his grandmother when he was born, wearing low-rider wigger pants, just walked into a bank, gave some guy a dollar, and now owns a million dollar home for a payment of just $2.00 more than the lease payment on his BMW 745I.

Soon after what was to be just another evening of nursing one Expresso Roast for 6 hours, entire apartment complexes were vacated, $20 million dollar homes were being erected, and life, as we once knew it, became a scene out of the great film Idiocracy. And just like in the movie, the Sub-Primates were content, wandering through life aimlessly and shamelessly, looking forward to the sequel of the movie, “Ass.”

The moral to this story, as well as the Sub-Primate species is simply this: If you don’t have a fucking dollar to your name, don’t go out and buy anything! If someone is working at Blockbuster, McDonalds, Del Taco, they can’t afford a fucking million dollar home. If you loan money to these fuckers, you should be hunt down and executed with extreme prejudice. If you purchase land, build houses, and sell to these fuckers (William Fucking Lyon), then you can go the fuck broke, and don’t even think of greasing D. C.’s palms for fucking handouts. And as speculated, when 2010 rolls around, when real estate will begin to balance out, maybe someone won’t be on the take like fucking George W. Bush and his crony’s!

Carls Jr., FUCK YOU!
Hey Biff, there goes another Sub-Primate out of Coto in a U-Haul. I heard that wigger looking mother fucker just got foreclosed on. What did you expect, fucker rents me movies down at Blockbuster.
by Fake Hate August 1, 2008
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Distal star proximal dog

Pseudo scientific nerd lingo for a girl that looks great from far away and then ugly as hell when you get up close to her. She looks like a shining star from across the room, but up close, she makes you shudder and cringe.
One nerd: "Hey check out that babe over there across the room".

Other nerd who's seen her up close already:
"Distal star proximal dog".
by Low Class Loser June 26, 2008
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primate

the top bishop within a country of any denomination that has bishops
The Archbishop of Canterbury is the primate of the church of England.
by Figleaf23 January 19, 2009
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Primate Mode

To engage in a type of laziness where only the most basic needs for survival are met, typically food, sleep, and sex. In humans, this behavior is most commonly observed on weekends, days off, and vacations. Named after the animalistic behavior exhibited by apes, monkeys, chimps, gorillas, orangutans, and wookiiees.
Dude 1: I just finished my last midterm and I have nothing to do for a week!

Dude 2: What are you gonna do with your vacation?

Dude 1: Order a pizza, invite a girl over, and go into Primate Mode for a few days.
by Alpha_Primate March 7, 2010
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Proximitist

One who will ditch one crush/significant other for another, just because they are geographically closer. A proximity opportunist.
I wanted to have drinks with Quinn last night, but he's such a proximitist that he ditched me for Claire because she was already downtown.
by Maker upper of words July 20, 2008
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Proximity shower

A method of washing for when you have no hot water. You strip off and stand near the running water, using it to create a lather with soap, and rub that on yourself whilst you wait for the shower to reach the desired temperature. Useful in a hurry.
The boiler was out this morning so I took a proximity shower. It was awkward, but at least I'm clean.
by notmereally December 4, 2009
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