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Cream Crunching

When you smash your meat in the door to assert dominance
Jimmy: "I saw my sister cream crunching last night and called Jesus."
Timmy: "Have your parents post-birth aborted her yet?"

leap cruncher 

A surprise sideways leap by an individual delivered to the shoulder of an unsuspecting person (the crunch) for the purpose of creating a new awareness in the recipient. An LC is not intended to inflict physical harm but rather is intended to be symbolic of the need for a change in one’s direction in life. The result is discombobulation of mindfulness in the recipient in order to gain a new awareness. The bemusement to the individual may last for minutes, days, months, years, decades or even for life.
1. He was badly in need of a leap cruncher.
2. That was the most intense leap cruncher I have ever witnessed.
leap cruncher by Gary Schroeder December 3, 2020

Physical Leap Cruncher 

Surprise sideways leap by an individual to the shoulder of an unsuspecting person (the crunch) for the purpose of creating new awareness in the recipient. An LC is not intended to inflict physical harm but rather is intended to be symbolic of the need for a change in one’s direction in life. The result is discombobulating of mindfulness of the recipient in order to gain new awareness. The bemusement of the recipient may last minutes, hours, days, months, years, decades or even for life.
1. Dave delivered a lasting physical leap cruncher.
2. Gary was the recipient of a nasty physical leap cruncher and hasn’t been the same since.
n.- an object that has been crumbled or crunched up into little pieces
v.- the act of crumbling or crunching something up into little pieces.
adj.- used to describe something that has been crumbled or crunched up into little pieces.
v.- the act of kicking somebody's ass because they did something stupid.
1. God damnit Mikey, ever since you threw those Oreos everywhere there are little crunchers all over the place.
2. If you don't pick up those Oreos right now I'm gonna cruncher your ass.
3. God damnit Mikey, those Cheese-its you put in my pillow case are all cruncher now.
cruncher by Dustin Bieber Fan September 1, 2010

crumb cruncher

a way of describing ones children, usually someone elses.
Take the little crumb crunchers to the mexican restaraunt on Wednesday..its kids eat free night
crumb cruncher by Bubba D March 21, 2008

granola cruncher 

A person who is not a hippie, but into organic products and cares about the earth. They may wear birkenstocks with wool socks, mostly don't wear makeup, and are a genuinely laid back and cool group. You want tolerance? They won't go through the effort of causing drama - they'd rather be hiking.
A granola cruncher is a a tye-dye wearing, birkenstock wearing, tree hugging, laid back cool person.
granola cruncher by Granola June 15, 2007