A polite, kid friendly, office-appropriate alternative to saying you've just been "fucked or screwed in the ass" by someone or as the result of an unfortunate event.
I heard you were late and the boss chewed you out. Pam took credit for my proposal too. Man, you just can't win can you? Actually, it's my lucky day. I keep winning the mudchute lottery!
by JKTheTrendsetter December 3, 2010
N. Refers to "winning" the dating game by marrying an Asian woman who becomes even more attractive after gaining a few pounds.
She got married last year and can't fit in her wedding dress any more, but it looks like the weight went straight to her chest. She must have gone from a B-cup to a double-D.
Yeah, her husband won the Asian lottery.
Yeah, her husband won the Asian lottery.
by Sparxva July 29, 2011
Even though many celebrities have won the uterus lottery, many of them are morally deficient because of it.
by Jonas W December 15, 2007
by nelpine1965 July 11, 2008
Person 1: I just can't seem to get any matches on Tinder. Is there something wrong with me?
Person 2: You are just being too picky... why don't you try Tinder Lottery?
Person 2: You are just being too picky... why don't you try Tinder Lottery?
by Richmannnnnn February 1, 2018
Risky game of chance, typically played by the lower classes or students, where a much-needed visit to the toilet is followed by the depressing realisation that there is a very limited amount of toilet paper at the user´s disposal.
Guy 1: "Last night, Mandy invited me round for a free manicure as part of her beautician´s course."
Guy 2: "Wow, she is so hot. How did it go?"
Guy 1: "Pretty well until it became abundantly clear that I play the Fingernail Lottery every week."
"Such was my urgent need, I locked the toilet door in great haste, lowered my britches and dropped some friends off at the pool. Only then did I note the dire lack of toilet tissue. My heart sank in the sad knowledge that I would have to play the Fingernail Lottery."
Hard Times, Charles Dickens
Guy 2: "Wow, she is so hot. How did it go?"
Guy 1: "Pretty well until it became abundantly clear that I play the Fingernail Lottery every week."
"Such was my urgent need, I locked the toilet door in great haste, lowered my britches and dropped some friends off at the pool. Only then did I note the dire lack of toilet tissue. My heart sank in the sad knowledge that I would have to play the Fingernail Lottery."
Hard Times, Charles Dickens
by Francois Fromage June 8, 2010
The act of sitting at a restaurant or bar table (particlularly a Hooters type establishment) and seeing if your waitress is the best one there or not. Winning the waitress lottery often involves getting the prettiest waitress, but it can also mean getting the friendliest one or simply the one who is most efficient.
Example 1:
Guyl 1: Dang it! All these hot chicks in here and we got the waitress who's built like a linebacker. That stinks.
Guy 2: Yeah, we definitely lost the Waitress Lottery, but at least we've got cold beer and eye candy all around us to enjoy.
Example 2:
When she came over I thought we'd won the waitress lottery, cause she's a hottie. We've been waiting forever for our beer, so I guess we didn't.
Guyl 1: Dang it! All these hot chicks in here and we got the waitress who's built like a linebacker. That stinks.
Guy 2: Yeah, we definitely lost the Waitress Lottery, but at least we've got cold beer and eye candy all around us to enjoy.
Example 2:
When she came over I thought we'd won the waitress lottery, cause she's a hottie. We've been waiting forever for our beer, so I guess we didn't.
by TPD in Big D October 23, 2009