spleen coach

n. Well-dressed earnest motivationalist who helps disaffected urbanites to reach their full potential by unmasking and eliminating any splenocentric phobias, taboos or sexual blocks. Tasty snacks, sachets of aromatic herbs, and vaginal whispering are usually included on a BOGO basis.

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So much repressed hostility, giggling at the sight of certain flowers, and so many unexplained bruises and episodes of epistaxis;: I think I need a spleen coach.

Or a competent haematologist.

by gnostic3 June 25, 2019

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Spleen Dick

When you try to have sex with a former pretty girl whose appearance has drastically changed and your dick hides behind your spleen and won't come out.

Did you see her on Facebook? Used to be a hottie and now she just spleen dicked me.

by SpleendickUSA June 25, 2025

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Spleen Vibes

Really good vibes, usually on the chiller side.

"Yo how's the party tonight?" "really spleen vibes tonight. Just a couple homies chilling heavy."

by eezzrraa December 17, 2021

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Spleens Flower

Cocaine

Jeff: Hey, Jay, wanna go to Fred's party? I hear he has loads of Spleens Flower.
Jay: Spleens Flower?
Jeff: Coke. he has a huge coke stash, Jay.
Jay: oh, I'm not into drugs.

by Poyomaster696969 September 8, 2020

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SPLEENS

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Danny: Hey Carl! Who's the cat?
Carl: What cat?
Danny: That one!
Carl: This cat? I don't know! Hey kitty, you all alone?
Cat: SPLEENS
Carl: OH NO! IT'S GONNA ANNOY US! RUN!
Cat: S P L E E N S
(Endless screams of annoyance and fear)

by SPLEENBEES March 4, 2021

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