Instagram Stories

Way for self gratification and buttering up your own half baked personality.

Society progressed and stopped believing in sunshines but according to Instagram stories, urban dictionary "definitions" matter

by BenTheNi May 1, 2018

sex stories

We were both in the store by our selves, so he came up to me and said," you wanna come to my house?" Of course I said yes! He was the hottest guy in school. Tery brendon, the best looking 17 year old. Hopefully he thought I was the best 16 year old in the world. We got to his house and went in. He dint even waste a moment. He takled me onto the bed and instantly took of his shirt. I didn't complain. We kissed for about 2 minutes, but we both wanted more. I slipped my hand down his pants and underwear and grabbed his rock hard penis." Why dont you let me stick it into you?" He asks. He helps me strip all my clothes off, and we did the same with him. "OHHHH YES YES DON'T STOP! I scream. He starts out slow, but his thrusts get faster and faster, and soon i'm gripping his arse hard. I somehow get on top, and I start humping gis stomach, chest, and soon I get to his mouth. He starts to lick it. Pleaser explodes in my body. I soon start sucking hard on his hard dick. The nigjt carries on as the best night ever.

Lets go read some sex stories

by Dank guy June 3, 2018

lady snores

When a lady dozes off and begins to snore so faintly it's almost difficult to know she's even sleeping.

John's Ho fell asleep on the couch again, but I don't mind because her lady snores are so soft.

by GlazeHer January 1, 2014

I want to hear more stories about evil clowns

When you're all sitting around, drinking and sharing Scary Stories, e.g. John Wayne Gacy who dressed as a clown, and the Evil Clowns who kidnap children in South America, The Clown from Stephen King's "It"

The party is breaking up because it's almost 3AM, and Joe says...

"Damn, I want to hear more stories about evil clowns!"

by jagshemash1 March 19, 2009

Stories Not Standards

The general idea that the story you get out of an event (eg. wild college party) is better than the moral value of whatever has taken place. This phrase implies that the more exciting or scandalous story you have to tell, the better! Live it up:)

Allison: Man, that sure was one crazy party last night. We almost got arrested!
Ashley: Yep, stories not standards gurrrl!

by MissParty June 20, 2011

Pork stories

1. Any stories involving sex, attempts to have sex, or failures related to sex.
2. A fratire author who tells stories consistent with definition 1.

Remember that Brazillian tranny we met at the mega club last night? Sit down, because boy do I have the pork story of pork stories for you!

by vinnyvegas February 28, 2008

Snoris

A black and white cat, with big eyes. If you look deeply into his eyeballs you will see your future and the love of your life. Snoris is also very lazy, and has a sensitive stomach.

"Hey Snoris, get down from there!"
"Silence! You're not my real mom!

"Hey Snoris, what are you doin'?"
"I'm pooping. Please leave me be, human."

"Hey Snoris, tell me my future."
"Look into my eyeballs."

by Apoplexius December 27, 2011