winding your ass and scratching your watch

Southern slang which describes a condition where one is confused, aloof, or just plain stupid. This condition is the anthisis of winding a watch and scratching your ass; which are normal process for any redneck over the age of 50 who is not drunk, stoned, or both.

Damn son, don't just stand there "winding your ass and scratching your watch", flip the hamburgers!

by clintoncousin December 11, 2007

Screeching Owl

An expressive form of Dirty Dynamite that sores from your colon at such a rapid speed that it makes you mimic the unpleasant sounds of a screeching owl.
End Results: Self induced Pink Sock & shredded linoleum from the clenching of your toe claws.

Oh my God Bertha, after eating that macho combo burrito from Del Taco, I was buckled up in the restroom with a screeching owl.

by Jeepersbo February 5, 2007

crotching-it

Hiding the weed (or another drug)

Chief Wiggum: Well if it isn't the doobie brothers.
Lenny: Uh oh, crotch the weed.
(Homer Simpson crotches it)
Chief Wiggum: Smell any drugs, Sergeant Scraps?
(Dog bites Homer's weiner and testes).

by HomerSimpson March 5, 2005

stretching your tackle

means chilling, coolin or just hanging/lounging around...

- "Word up, bro?"
- "Not much.. I'm just stretching my tackle here at my pad.."

by PurePlayaz June 7, 2005

motor scroting

Motor boating the scrotum.

I was motor scroting him all night long.

by scrotum queen November 14, 2009

Brown dog scratching at my door

I have to poop.

At work...
Travis: "Oh man, I've got a brown dog scratching at my door, I don't think I can keep him in until lunch."
Ann: "Come on, can't you learn to take a shit BEFORE coming in to work?"

by Shatrabel June 16, 2010

Snortching

Eating pussy like a piggy.

Boy you snortching me ain't you?

by Croakus November 6, 2011