I can’t shit for a week

When you eat something so cheesy that it plugs your asshole till next week.

Person A: I’ll take a large cheese pizza with extra cheese please.
Person B: No dad, I can’t shit for a week if we get that pizza

by BipolarUnicorn2 March 27, 2020

I Can’t Drive 55

One foot on the brake and one on the gas, hey!
Well, there's too much traffic, I can't pass, no!
So I tried my best illegal move
Well, baby, black and white come and touched my groove again!

Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55! Oh No!

Uh!
So I signed my name on number 24, hey!
Yeah the judge said, "Boy, just one more...
We're gonna throw your ass in the city joint"

Looked me in the eye, said, "You get my point?"
I said Yea!, Oh yea!
Write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive

Take my license, all that jive
I can't drive 55!
Oh, yea!

I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
I can't drive 55!
Uh!

When I drive that slow, you know it's hard to steer.
And I can't get get my care out of second gear.
What used to take two hours now takes all day. Huh!
It took me 16 hours to get to L.A.

Gonna write me up a 125
Post my face wanted dead or alive
Take my license, all that jive
I Can’t Drive 55!
No, no no,

I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive...
(I can't drive 55!)
I can't drive 55!

by Death Menace July 3, 2023

Feels Like I Just Can’t Take No More

It's like my insides have cut out again
Tongue-tied, I live life, but just don't fit in
So I

Guess I should tell you now
Guess I can play it down
Don't you watch the latest telly?
Guess I can burn you down
Guess I can tell you now
That I am less than ordinary
Didn't every word I say come true? (True, true, true)
Funny how you thought it seemed it's you (You, you, you)
Looking back it kind of threw me too (Too, too, too)
How 'bout you?

Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels like I just can't take no more
Honestly I hit the floor

I said too much but I'd say it again
Words do collide when the motives are thin

I guess I could mend a cut
Guess I should keep it shut
Guess I've had that one too many
Guess I could write it down
Guess I could shout it out
There's a twist in every story
Didn't every word I say come true? (True, true, true)
Funny how you thought it seemed it's you (You, you, you)
Looking back it kind of threw me too (Too, too, too)
How 'bout you?

Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels like I just can't take no more
Honestly I hit the floor
Feels like I just can't take no more
Always heaven's at my door
Feels Like I Just Can’t Take No More
Honestly I hit the floor

by Gothic Miscreant December 19, 2023

Why Can’t I Be You?

You're so gorgeous I'll do anything
I'll kiss you from your feet to where your head begins
You're so perfect you're so right as rain
You make me
Make me, make me, make me hungry again

Everything you do is irresistible
Everything you do is simply kissable
Why can't I be you?

I'll run around in circles 'til I run out of breath
I'll eat you all up
Or I'll just hug you to death
You're so wonderful
Too good to be true
You make me, make me, make me, make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply delicate
Everything you do is quite angelicate
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?

You turn my head when you turn around
You turn the whole world upside down
I'm smitten I'm bitten I'm hooked I'm cooked
I'm stuck like glue
You make me, make me, make me, make me hungry for you

Everything you do is simply dreamy
Everything you do is quite delicious
So Why Can’t I Be You?
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?

Why
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?
Why can't I be you?
You're simply elegant

by Death Menace June 1, 2023

I can’t spell

If you can’t spell that means you are extremely stupid… BUT you are also the most loyal people in the world and you are the hottest people in the world with the best abs and fattest of asses.

Dominic: Dude I can’t spell

Audrey: Don’t worry that’s just bc your really stupid and loyal as fuck and hot as fuck and have the best abs in the world and have a really fat ass

by BIG D😈💪🏻 April 27, 2022

I can’t, it’s Netflix

“I can’t, it’s Netflix” comes from Love Island USA (season 7 reunion) when cast member Huda was asked about her relationship status. Instead of answering, she replied “I can’t, it’s Netflix.” The phrase caught on as a way of playfully avoiding a question, usually about relationships or personal matters. It basically means “I can’t/don’t want to talk about it right now.”

A: “So, what’s really going on between you and your ex?”
B: “I can’t, it’s Netflix.”

by viviaauha August 28, 2025

I can’t even

Example one: Kari

Example two: Katrina

Kari in a bubble bath with a glass of wine talking about her (perfect) life to her sister: “I can’t even”.

Katrina lounging in front of her electric fire complaining about her coffee roasting business (also perfect life) to her sisters: “i can’t even!”.

by itsfinecuziloveyou June 6, 2025