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guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.
Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.
by ribbit January 28, 2019
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Houdini Guido Raid

The new most vicious Houdini to date, this move requires the help of at least 12 Guidos and a Cadillac with a nice stereo system.

Engage in sex doggy style, when reaching climax spit on the ladies back. When she turns to face you a Cadillac should smash through the wall and at least 12 Guidos should disembark and begin to fist pump to the loudest, most obnoxious techno music known to man.

Then Cum in her face.
Mike: Hey, did you see that new show Jersey shore?
Tom: Yeah, it's so fake. No one has even gotten Houdini Guido Raided yet.
by fist pumpin' champ December 9, 2009
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Related Words
Guiod Guido Guild Wars Guidette guidelines guild guid guide GUIDA guidance

Guidhoe

1: A girl who dances like a slut at guido clubs.
2: A guido's girlfriend.
1:
Guy 1: Hey check out that guidhoe on the floor.
Guy 2: Yeah man i head she'll suck oyu dry for pocket change!

2:
Guy 1: Giovanni and Sicilia broke up.
Guy 2: Yeah i heard he was gettin' tired of that guidhoe.
by Bobby Crown February 21, 2008
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Nem guindaste

Not even a hoist.

Brazilian expression for when someone is so hot that not even a hoist can get you off them. Can also be used with other plesurable situations.
friend: shows me a hot celebrity
me: NEM GUINDASTE

- when the pandemic ends nem guindaste takes me out of the bar
by peloduroo July 19, 2020
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Guildford

The English, and better way of spelling "Guilford". For some reason just because it has a silent d in it, the American's felt the need to take it out when they named that town near North Carolina... Anyway...
Guildford is a city near Woking, in England... People say Guildford is better, but Woking is now catching up.
Guildford has an impressive cathedral amongst other things, such as a good ice hockey team (or so they say), a fairly good college and just generally good shopping facilities.
It is also a good place to go "emo" spotting... At weekends, you will often find gangs of these so-called emos hanging around at certain places throughout the city. It is a wonderful place to waste time and is often a treat for the eyes! If you're into that sort of thing.
Vanessa: Let's go to Guildford and have a gander at the delectable emo boys...

Me: Ooh, okay!
by Dwergi May 21, 2006
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Weekly podcast hosted by Tom and his sidekick Tim.

Or if you are Tim: weekly podcast hosted by Tim and his sidekick Tom

Basically, TCGTE is the funniest podcast you will ever hear.

Topics vary from time travel to dating and everything inbetween.
"Tim- Fucking baby boomers!
Tom- ...ok...so anyway, starbucks..."

Listener-Ah The Complete Guide To Everything, legend .
by iheartbabyboomers. jk im tim! November 21, 2010
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Guido torpedo

Any kind of fast car that a guido would drive or does drive with the tendency to explode when driven into a solid structure at high speeds.
Guido "Did you hear about Kevin"
other Guido"no"
Guido "Well turns out he took out half of rite-aid with his guido torpedo when he was trying to get some hair gel"
other Guido "Fucking waste of a V-dub"
by Dirty Dorian March 29, 2007
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