gagger

A line of cocaine that makes you gag after snorting it. The presence of the gag is indicative of high-quality cocaine, which ensures an excellent high. If the cocaine goes down too easily, whatever you bought is low quality (or fake).

I’ve actually purchased low-quality cocaine hundreds of times. What happens next, well, I typically become angry, and frustrated, and later send countless text messages to anyone who might have something better. But the search for the white powder is almost always futile, which leads to more anger and more frustration. It’s during these hours that I think to myself...

“I need some gaggers!”

But the gaggers rarely arrive, and if they do, it’s typically around 11:00 pm. By 2:00 am, however, the bag is always empty, which means I'll again have to call the dealer to request another one. This process — order the gaggers, gaggers arrive, do the gaggers — will repeat itself until the dealer stops responding to my text messages. When this occurs, a state of panic sets in, and the only remaining option is to chug some beers and eventually pass out.

At the end of the day, gaggers are truly amazing, but they eventually lead to terrible decisions, such as the draining of your bank account, or the having of sex with a swamp creature. So it’s typically best to avoid the gaggers and to instead spend your money on beers, hookers, or perhaps a new book.

I need some gaggers!

by Lexaminator April 28, 2023

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