fortune teller

The act of holding the shaft of one's dick with one hand and rubbing the tip with the palm of the opposite hand.

Friend A: How was your night?
Friend B: Great, that girl from the bar gave me the fortune teller.
Friend A: Very nice.

by MCBronson617 July 26, 2009

fortune crookie

When you crack your fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie takes your fortune and reads it first, so as to make the fortune theirs. Similar to the hamburglar, only with fortune cookies.

Legend has it that the first person to read the fortune, after the cookie has been opened, will own that fortune, unless the fortune is read aloud, by which the fortune becomes no longer valid.

When Fundo cracked his fortune cookie open, the fortune crookie ran past and grabbed the fortune out of the cookie before Fundo had a chance to read it.

by authOOr June 29, 2006

fortune cookie

My fortune cookie had the local animal shelter's phone number listed on it.....oh SHIT!!!

What future does your fortune cookie bring?

by but the food was so good I didn't know. September 25, 2003

Fortune family

Is what happens when a pussy snorts so much cum that he honestly believes he has loyal followers. Also searches sex offenders databases for dates.

That guy must be fortune family material. I feel bad for that child.

by Silverbackbear April 25, 2020

fortune telling

Fortune telling is based on tools that the fortune teller uses. It is a spiritual interpretation of the future of your life. Tarot cards, throwing dice, palm reading, astrology or other methods are used.

fortune telling works with Horoscopes, palmistry, dream interpretation, card reading

by knowingportal May 26, 2020

fortune cookie

the post-coital act of putting a used condom back into the vagina, ideally without the girl's knowledge......a great practical joke !!

when she awoke in the morning and used the bathrom she found the fortune cookie i left her.

by MORGAN August 11, 2003

Fortune Dookie

When one saves their fortunes after eating Chinese food, and deposits them carefully into a floating turd left unflushed in a toilet. The "topper" to this haneous act is to pull the paper from the roll without tearing it, wiping the ass after defacation, and rerolling the paper for a secondary victim to discover later on.

Missy was unhappy with her General Tso's Chicken, so she left a Fortune Dookie for the establishment to deal with.

by Eman1187 May 7, 2009