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cranking the birch tree

Slang for male masturbation, originated in Hanson, Massachusetts.
I walked in the locker room and there was Ben cranking the birch tree to no avail.
by SlapStickSlappy May 9, 2009
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Cranking Units

What began as Edmonton-speak for ‘drinking beers’, has evolved into an entire culture.

Anything can be a unit, and usually it’s crankable, sometimes the unit even cranks itself and you need to crank it before it cranks you. Sometimes you crank the units and later on the units crank back (ie a hangover).

Unit Classification System - Crankology. 101

Type 1 Units

- Instant gratification units. Require little effort to crank, with high pleasure payoff.

- Ex: cocaine, liquor.

Type 2 Units

- Units that require some effort to crank, with potentially great rewards.

- Ex: mushrooms, ayahuasca, changa.

Type 3 Units

- Units that crank you, but in the long run allow you to crank even more units.

- Ex: psychedelic ego death, vaccines, getting lost in the forest and discovering your spirit animal after days of dehydration and delirium.

Type 4 Units

- Food units. Calories are eventually required for even the most veteran of greeblers.

- Ex: Rave pizza.

Type 5 Units

- Units that need to leave the body. Bodily function units.

- Ex: crank a piss, bro!

Type 6 Units

- Mystery Units. Units found, effects unknown until cranked.

Ex: powdery substance snorted off greebly shag rug.

Type 7 Units

- Adrenaline units. Units that activate internal adrenaline system for sake of excitement and cheap thrills!

Ex: fire spinning, sky diving, BDSM kinks.

Type 8 Units

Sexual pleasure units.

Ex: cranking your nut butter all over your babe (with consent).
*Looks at empty beer box* “bro did we crank all those unes?”

“I went to help my friend build a fence but then we just started cranking units instead”

“When I birthed my child I was in labour for 12 hours”
“Damn, that’s cranking a unit for sure”

“Love une/ love yoon”

“Don’t forget to use your manners, say please and crank une”

What is life, but a unit cranked?”
by anonymous November 18, 2021
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Crafting Vegeto

When you want to slop lolis in a very sexual way.
Person 1 : "Dude, you totally did a Crafting Vegeto to that girl yesterday !"
Person 2 : "Yeah man, don't tell the F.B.I lmao eks dee"
by AnonEksDee June 17, 2018
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Cranking A Brown

When you take a shit. Usually during an upper decking.
I was really Cranking A Brown at the party. Nothing funnier than Upper Decking someones toliet during a party. I of course left the party after i shitted.
by upper deck crew July 30, 2009
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cranging

It involves the inserting of eels into the anal cavity with the help of a nude asian friend. Then the ejecting of said eels out of the cavity as projectiles.
The asian chixor laid on her back with her partner cranging the eels into her anus, she then proceeded to crang them out.
by Daws and Samuel April 23, 2004
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Cranking

To be simultaneously engaged in the acts of crying and wanking.
If his funds were running particularly low, Junkie Jim could often be found cranking at the local sperm-bank.
by Johnny Darke December 16, 2008
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Crasting

To steal things from cars, houses, anywhere. Originating from the book "A Clockwork Orange", where they often went "Shopcrasting".
Alex: you down to go out crasting tonight?

Sam: for sure! gotta get that money, right right right?
by WickedAlien32 December 10, 2009
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