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chinese calendar

When you fuck an Asian or Chinese girl in 365 different positions over the course of 1 round of intercourse.
I went to Chinese buffet last night and ended up Chinese calendaring one of the waitresses.
by Chinese Calendar January 16, 2017
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nadvent calendar

An advent calendar like any other with 24 windows counting down the days until Christmas. Behind each cardboard flap is the severed testicals of an orphan to reward the eager child.
"Mummy bought me the wrong nadvent calendar this year... i don't like the black ones!"
by Jarlinean June 11, 2006
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stalker calendar

A makeshift calendar kept in your head so there's no evidence; used to stalk someone you're obsessed with. It is compiled mainly from readily available information made public on social networking sites, and through eavesdropping, lurking, gossip, and rumor.
Jill: You know Brit's gonna be at the party next week, right?
Jack: Oh, for sure. Had that shit marked on my stalker calendar for weeks.

Jill: I have a crush on your friend John...
Jack: Want me to have him add you as a friend?
Jill: No, it's cool...I always know what he's doing. He RSVPs to events, says where he's at in his status, and we have enough mutual friends for me to start a decent stalker calendar.

Jill to Jane: Wanna meet at StarB's Tuesday?
Jane: Yeah, like 8:00?
Jack (lurking ten feet away) to self: Sweet!

Jill: Funny how we keep showing up at the same spots!
Jack: Isn't it?
Jack to self: Thank you, stalker calendar!
by nearly civilized January 5, 2010
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Careers Calendar

The replacement for bad spreadsheets and sub-par software. A place to organise one's events, track them and gain feedback from your students. Saves you time so you can binge Netflix at work or spend more time giving better guidance to your students.
The Careers Calendar helps schools plan their career events and organisations to engage with the right students at the right time.
by notcareerscalendar August 16, 2019
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Pleasure Calendar

A pleasure calendar is similar to an advent calendar, in the sense that each day during the run-up to Christmas, the person to whom the calendar belongs will open a door with a number that corresponds with the date. Only, unlike an advent calendar, the pleasure calendar is commonly given between couples as a way to treat the other person with acts of intimacy or sexual relations. One person will buy the calendar and write down small treats for their partner on paper (e.g. shoulder massage, bathe together, cuddle), which they will place inside the calendar. Then, when the person who owns the calendar opens the door for that day, they will take out the slip of paper and are able to use that piece of paper as a coupon of some sort. They can either choose to use it on the day they receive it, or save up their 'coupons' and use multiple in one day.

(Pleasure calendars are hand-made, not available in stores. Those who give them as gifts will either buy an advent calendar and replace the chocolate with paper slips, buy a blank calendar that allows them to insert whatever they wish, or make the whole thing from scratch.)
Example of things you might find written in a pleasure calendar:
- 'Partner will cook dinner'
- 'Cuddle on couch'
- 'Shoulder massage'
- 'Take a bath together'

Example of a pleasure calendar being given:
Nate: "Baby, I bought you a pleasure calendar."
Roxy: "Wow, thanks!"
December 1st - Roxy opens the calendar to find a slip of paper that reads 'Cuddle session'
by yourfriendlyirishpotato October 6, 2019
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opening the advent calendar

A nickname for masturbation during DDD.
Hey man, it's day 3 of DDD, I'm opening the advent calendar, gonna bust it.
by peepee poopoo shoe December 2, 2019
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The Cock Calendar

The calendar for people who can't survive No Nut November

Jump Bones January
Four Finger February
Masturbation March

Anal April

Mating May

Jack off June
Juicy July

Asshole August
Sex September
Oral October
Nut November
Dick December
"Liah it's No Nut November :("
"Not according to The Cock Calendar it isn't ;))"
"Cock calendar?"
"A glorious calendar made by @bri_loves_badgers and @_stonecoldcrazy_ on instagram"
by ClinkClinkBitch November 2, 2019
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