A Mommy Pee Break is when a mother goes to the loo for a second and the kids decide to use that exact moment to raise all sorts of hell and run amok. Usually ends up in the house being trashed or burned down.
Candice: I just left them for a second and when I came back, all hell was loose! The ADSL cable is unplugged, the flatscreen TV has been demolished, my two year old is covered in cream, my perfume has been thrown down the sink and the dog has been painted green! All in the time it took for me to have a pee!
Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.
Candice: FML
Jacques: Sounds like a standard Mommy Pee Break. If they are still alive and the house is still standing, we are doing good.
Candice: FML
by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018
Get the Mommy Pee break mug.The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.
Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"
Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"
Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?
Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."
Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"
Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"
Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
Jacques: ...
Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"
Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?
Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."
Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"
Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"
Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"
Jacques: ...
by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018
Get the Mommy Pee break mug.When people tell you shit your kids/pets/friends did/are, but your brain just can't register it cause you think they're perfect no matter what
Person1: I'm sorry, but your son is very overweight
Person 2: No he's not! He's just a little chubby!
Person 1: You need to snap out of the mommy blindness
Person 2: No he's not! He's just a little chubby!
Person 1: You need to snap out of the mommy blindness
by NuclearKärring November 29, 2017
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A married woman with children who decided to have an affair with no intention of ever leaving her financial security blanket, i.e.. her husband.
by KZ1 June 6, 2016
Get the mommy cheater mug.Friend: Ew did u just take a piss and not wash your hands
Me: No I just did no hands mommy
Friend: What that
Me: When you don't touch your penis when u take a piss
Friend: OOOOOHHHHH okay, let me try
Me: No I just did no hands mommy
Friend: What that
Me: When you don't touch your penis when u take a piss
Friend: OOOOOHHHHH okay, let me try
by XxHeY_FrIeNdzXx September 8, 2016
Get the No hands mommy mug.by Fijjuggsgjijhhyggggg-about it January 5, 2020
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