Flat Earth Derangement Syndrome

A rare condition where someone becomes so committed to arguing that the Earth is flat, they start treating gravity like a conspiracy and globes like forbidden artifacts.

Symptoms include:

Calling airplanes “government magic” ✈️✨
Believing Antarctica is just a giant ice wall guarded by penguin security 🐧🚧
Getting emotionally triggered by maps that curve 🗺️😤
Saying “do your own research” while linking a 17-minute video filmed in a backyard

Example:
“Kal tried to measure the horizon with a level from Home Depot… he’s got a serious case of Flat Earth Derangement Syndrome.”

Side effects:
May cause excessive YouTube binges, distrust of astronauts, and yelling “WAKE UP” at random family dinners.

by Jackssa April 4, 2026

Flag

Get the Flat Earth Derangement Syndrome mug.

Continental Philosophy Derangement Syndrome

A pathological hostility toward continental European philosophy (phenomenology, existentialism, critical theory, poststructuralism) often expressed by analytic philosophers and their online followers. Symptoms include dismissing entire traditions as “obscurantist gibberish,” refusing to engage primary texts, and attributing all perceived excesses of academic humanities to “continentals.” The syndrome treats philosophy as a zero‑sum game where acknowledging the insights of Heidegger, Sartre, or Derrida would somehow invalidate logical empiricism. It is a form of intellectual xenophobia dressed as rigor.

Example: “He called her Foucauldian analysis ‘word salad’ without having read a single page of Foucault—Continental Philosophy Derangement Syndrome, where ignorance masquerades as critique.”

by Dumu The Void April 4, 2026

Flag