Big Bad Brad (noun): A lumbering, sub-human brute with a bulbous frame and an unnaturally wide base. His thick, fat, calloused hooves are often crammed into women’s footwear. His face, a big, dumb, perfectly round slab of confusion, sits atop his hairy mass, though his scalp remains curiously barren. He speaks in a slow, monotone drawl, as if each word is a struggle against his own stupidity.
Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), this gutter snipe suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.
A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.
Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
Chronically late to work and a walking medical mystery (at least in his own mind), this gutter snipe suffers from an extreme case of hypochondria. His days are punctuated by dramatic medical ailments, followed by frantic calls for an ambulance to ferry him from his own home, only for doctors to confirm, yet again, that absolutely nothing is wrong.
A connoisseur of filth, this swamp-dwelling specimen produces greasy, bile-ridden shits at an alarming rate. He is a walking biohazard, harboring every known strain of hepatitis along with a few that science has yet to discover.
Despite his Neanderthal-like attributes, Brad possesses a shockingly average IQ. However, his dental history suggests a level of neglect that has single-handedly funded his dentist’s children’s college tuition. Though Big Bad Brad’s underwear is often covered in matted hair and shit, he remains a friend to all and, in his free time, a self-proclaimed world-class chiropractor, despite having no formal training or hygiene standards.
Jimmy: Big Bad Brad showed up late again, wheezing like he ran a marathon wearing those damn women’s sneakers.
Melvin: I swear those shoes are crying for help. Probably like his dentist every time he walks in.
Jimmy: Speaking of cries for help, what’s the over/under on his next fake medical emergency?
Melvin: Two hours—max. My money’s on “mystery heart failure” again.
Melvin: I swear those shoes are crying for help. Probably like his dentist every time he walks in.
Jimmy: Speaking of cries for help, what’s the over/under on his next fake medical emergency?
Melvin: Two hours—max. My money’s on “mystery heart failure” again.
by Dwaggerbomb March 1, 2025
Get the Big Bad Bradmug. Brad is a person who is trying to be perfect all the time, he is always being emotional and over caring, which will make people sometimes think it's annoying while he is just trying to make sure that you're ok. If he hates someone, he will hate him/her for the rest of his life. So don't try to make him mad. He hates specific people such as Cassy, Adrian, Austin, Hayson, Quentin, Ryan, Jadon, Solar, Casper, Bella, Jaden Li, Audrey and John
by darkrreaper May 29, 2022
Get the Bradmug. by ScottMann August 13, 2017
Get the Brad Pylesmug. A brad is a frat boy that drinks all the beer (preferably natural light) he thinks he’s huge and constantly screams Saturday’s are for the boys even when it’s not Saturday, he also has to wear only vineyard vines dress shirts, Patagonia, and sperrys, his father will also most definitely be a lawyer that will sue you.
Wow look at this brad over here shotgunning that beer, I hope he crashed his Jeep Wrangler he’s such a douche.
by Chris karalekas July 22, 2018
Get the Bradmug. by The Original Agahnim July 17, 2021
Get the French Brad Pittmug. Schrodinger's brad, its a paradox of every time he tries to get out of a situation by talking, He keeps digging himself away from winning the argument getting more dirt on him in the process
by Ruthless-Gaytard August 29, 2021
Get the the brad paradoxmug. The type of guy to never put in money for weed, constantly seen with a juul in his hand, only wears vineyard vine, and takes broshoots.
“That guy is such a Brad. “
“That guy looks like a duche, what’s his name?”
“Oh don’t talk to him dude, he is a total Brad. “
“Oh Fuck thanks bro. “
“That guy looks like a duche, what’s his name?”
“Oh don’t talk to him dude, he is a total Brad. “
“Oh Fuck thanks bro. “
by pdiddyforshizzle June 29, 2018
Get the Bradmug.