old fart alumni

You roll over, and who else could it be? It’s the alumnus who has a job, a steady flow of cash, and a crew of subordinates to do his work while he takes a long weekend to visit the frat castle once a week. Apparently everything this alumnus learned about raising hell during his undergrad years was erased while he brownnosed his way up the corporate ladder. He took the generic “walk in the way of honor” part of the of the creed a little too seriously, and now he feels like his wealth of knowledge about how he thinks the world actually works will be applicable to a bunch of adolescents determined to drink and fuck like it is going out of style. He’ll come by for a tailgate or big party once a semester just to take a look around and be somewhat disturbed by all the same things he used to do when he was 20 years old. “Guys I’m not trying to be a buzzkill, but…” will be heard a couple of times, followed by how your behavior could ultimately get your charter pulled from the wall. Whenever there is some sort of “brotherhood event,” he will be there to make sure everything runs the way it did back when he was pledging. Oh, there’s a committee meeting tonight? You can always count on this local alumnus to make an appearance because, frankly, he doesn’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday night. All in all, this guy is just the genetically altered mutant-freak version of a super senior.

old fart alumni...

by someguyoverthere2 February 19, 2020

Fart Curtain

A Fart Curtain is the waft of smell from farting while walking. Typically best if not too long, so if you have a longer fart you should walk with a slight zig zag and simply create a pleated Fart Curtain for best effect.

That lady just walked through my Fart Curtain, and she was smiling so I think she liked it.

by The Cobbler 2020 September 14, 2020

Fart Pipe

A person's anal cavity that has been so stretched out by anal penetration that when the person farts it comes out it sounds like the breeze coming by.

After I fucked Jaylyn last night she was a fart pipe.

by kingkeizer April 21, 2018

I would eat a mile of your shit to smell your farts

A classic line to woo a woman, meaning that you would do whatever it takes to be close to her.

John saw her from across the room, she was beautiful, he wanted to know her. He downed a vodka and coke and casually made his way over to the bar to order another. "Voda and coke please" he said to the barman. He took a silent but deep breath. "I've been watching you all evening and I would eat a mile of your shit to smell your farts." She smiled, and said "come on then lets go to the bathroom"

by green923jade January 9, 2021

Fart Tissue

Fart Tissue: A tissue that smells like intense fart.

1: Dude, I've got some bad allergies today!
2: Don't use the tissues in Mrs. Taylor's room, she has fart tissues!

by spookyscarysharts October 10, 2021

crackle fart

crackle fart means when you are brain-dead for a split second.

"Oh man I had a 'crackle fart ' moment"

by Emerald <3 December 11, 2022

Fart Parlour

A reception room, more notable in historical buildings, where one may excuse themselves to emit gas from the anus without judgement or scrutiny from peers.

Please flip over and fluff the pillows in the Fart Parlour as they are looking a little flat.

I do not need to use the lavatory so I will relieve my stomach pains in the Fart Parlour

by Revelin Eleven October 30, 2015