old fart alumni

You roll over, and who else could it be? It’s the alumnus who has a job, a steady flow of cash, and a crew of subordinates to do his work while he takes a long weekend to visit the frat castle once a week. Apparently everything this alumnus learned about raising hell during his undergrad years was erased while he brownnosed his way up the corporate ladder. He took the generic “walk in the way of honor” part of the of the creed a little too seriously, and now he feels like his wealth of knowledge about how he thinks the world actually works will be applicable to a bunch of adolescents determined to drink and fuck like it is going out of style. He’ll come by for a tailgate or big party once a semester just to take a look around and be somewhat disturbed by all the same things he used to do when he was 20 years old. “Guys I’m not trying to be a buzzkill, but…” will be heard a couple of times, followed by how your behavior could ultimately get your charter pulled from the wall. Whenever there is some sort of “brotherhood event,” he will be there to make sure everything runs the way it did back when he was pledging. Oh, there’s a committee meeting tonight? You can always count on this local alumnus to make an appearance because, frankly, he doesn’t have anything better to do on a Wednesday night. All in all, this guy is just the genetically altered mutant-freak version of a super senior.

old fart alumni...

by someguyoverthere2 February 19, 2020

Fart Curtain

A Fart Curtain is the waft of smell from farting while walking. Typically best if not too long, so if you have a longer fart you should walk with a slight zig zag and simply create a pleated Fart Curtain for best effect.

That lady just walked through my Fart Curtain, and she was smiling so I think she liked it.

by The Cobbler 2020 September 14, 2020

Fart Pipe

A person's anal cavity that has been so stretched out by anal penetration that when the person farts it comes out it sounds like the breeze coming by.

After I fucked Jaylyn last night she was a fart pipe.

by kingkeizer April 21, 2018

Smurf farts

Tide Pod suppositories, an anally inserted Tide Pod

Brody and I are going to be doing some Smurf farts after we blow the hockey team, there’s room in the Geo Metro if you’d like to join.

by Curly MFN B June 6, 2018

fart

air released from the anus that takes makes oxygen foul-smelling

Girl: oh shoot we're getting shot in the back cmon build build build!!! If we die again, im deleting fortnite!
Boy: cmon cmon cmon cmon.. FUCK FUCK HOW DID I DIE?!?!?!?!? I WAS ON 100 HP!!!!!
Girl: Wait guys i have to fart (farts) ahhhh that felt good :)
Boy: ewwwwww you farted???
Girl: Yeah.. and.. i think i have to do it again hold on…. (silent farts) ahhhhhhh that one felt even better :) my chair is gonna stink after i get up :/
Boy: You know what? You just lost my appetite, im off now bye 👋

Girl: Nooooo!! Dont go!!!

by Macrime4444 June 8, 2022

Matrix Fart

Letting out fart while listening to loud music with headphones, and you have no idea if people heard it.

I let out a matrix fart at the office.

by UrKillingMeSmals March 4, 2025

Phantom Fart

A search engine AI says it's the sensation of flatulence (farting) without the actual expulsion of gas, but we all know that it's a poop that we all thought was just a fart.

Dude 1: "Hold on, let me just fart..."
Dude 1: "...."
Dude 1: "Yo, can I take a shower in here?"
Dude 2: "...Did you just have a phantom fart? dang, dude! you're nasty!"

by pa-chinko March 15, 2025