To read the Bible

Achmed: ay where you going
Jerome: To read the bible. Ill be right back
by Big Nob Kyle October 30, 2019
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Bert-reading

Reading of a petition perform before signing it, to find out if you should support it or not, although the title is convincing. It's the final stage before signing a petition.
X: Did you just sign that petition ?
Y: Yes, why ?
X: You know better! Please do a bert-reading next time!!
Y: Why ?
X: Petitions can be very powerful and being attention to issues that we don’t know about... but I really need you to read some of these before signing. Some of them don’t be saying nothing and actually detract from grassroots organizations that are already doing the work.
by jhumigas June 06, 2020
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Mastur-reading

Pleasuring one's self to a novel or any form of text that doesn't involve another person. (Not to be confused with sexting)
I spotted an old man mastur-reading in the far corner of the library.
by Creepy Guy in The Library October 16, 2011
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you just wasted a few seconds reading this
you just wasted a few seconds reading this
by June 11, 2025
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ninja read

TO READ an important convo on im about u or sumone/thing u kno and poppin outta nowhere and replyin to the comment!
DAMN! did u hear about tht boy teryn?
YEA hes way ugly!
"TERYN POPS UP cause he was NINJA READING!
I HEARD U BITCH amd u clit smells like fried piss on a dead hooker!
by woofulz April 02, 2008
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Read Patrick

Player. A person who messes with women to move up the corporate ladder. He works in the meat department because he can't keep his own in his pants.
Girl 1: Did you Read Patrick in the meat department? He really is staring me up like I'm a piece of meat.

Girl 2, 3, 4, 5....honey, that's because you are meat to him. Look away. He is drooling over his own rotten sausage.
by Derra April 01, 2022
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